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BY ALEX WATT
Leave blinker on for miles.
Repeatedly call someone by their brother’s name.
Win the lottery and die shortly thereafter.
Go to church on a weekday.
Fill a cookie jar with Fig Newtons.
Ask young foreign physicians where the doctor is.
Drive into a movie theater.
Wear semi-casual clothing to the gym.
Take forever to order food.
Complain that the service is “too slow.”
Develop own distinct odor.
Send postal mail.
Ask, “What?” over and over again.
Drain Social Security funds.
Agree with Andy Rooney.
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