Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
BY Alex Watt
Leave blinker on for miles.
Repeatedly call someone by their brother’s name.
Win the lottery and die shortly thereafter.
Go to church on a weekday.
Fill a cookie jar with Fig Newtons.
Ask young foreign physicians where the doctor is.
Drive into a movie theater.
Wear semi-casual clothing to the gym.
Take forever to order food.
Complain that the service is “too slow.”
Develop own distinct odor.
Send postal mail.
Ask, “What?” over and over again.
Drain Social Security funds.
Agree with Andy Rooney.
SUGGESTED READSSome Jokes and Pranks That Did Not Pan Out
by Chris Mohney (3/2/2000)
I am Michiko Kakutani
by Colin McEnroe (1/23/1999)
Prank Calling My Mother, Four Transcripts.
by Amie Barrodale (1/8/2001)
RECENTLYI’m Thinking About Launching My Podcast Pretty Soon
by Jory John (7/21/2014)
Classic Russian Writers: For teh Internets: Vladimir Nabokov’s “Signs and Symbols.”
by KA Semënova (7/21/2014)
List: Erotica For Architects
by Allegra Hyde (7/21/2014)
POPULAROur Band Only Sold One Copy of Our Album and We’d Like it Back
by Jake Tuck (6/26/2014)
Client Feedback On the Creation of the Earth
by Mike Lacher (5/30/2014)
List: Lines from The Princess Bride that Double as Comments on Freshman Composition Papers
by Jennifer Simonson (2/23/2012)