[Originally published January 4, 2012.]

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“I suggest we begin with foreshadowing to prepare for our forays into intertextuality.”

“I’ve been examining your assonance all day.”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘u’ and ‘i’ in the same eight-person, windowless office.”

“What do you say we skip the exposition and cut straight to the rising action?”

“Your analysis of Moby-Dick is so long and hard to navigate!”

“What if we reworked the rhyme scheme so that your lines come to multiple feminine endings?”

“You have the most amazing body paragraph.”

“While the punctuation is grammatically correct, I could really go for a good interrobang right now.”

“I am of the mind that your Southern Regionalism is worth exploring.”

“I hope I don’t offend your feminist sensibilities by suggesting altering your title from TA to T&A.”

“I’d be willing to stand in as a mock-committee should you wish to practice your oral defense.”

“You’re a perfect 4.0.”

“Maybe we should consider using a rhetorical device; though, to be clear, I am not suggesting that we rely on that rhetorical device every time we cowrite a paper.”

“My office hours are WIDE OPEN.”