Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Slogans of Not-So-Prestigious Schools.
BY JEFF JOHNSON
1. Radclift — We’re only a couple of letters away from being a really good school.
2. Mortensen Taxidermy — Let’s not kid each other. You weren’t our first choice, either.
3. Mike’s Dental School — No lawsuits in 19 months.
4. Williamsburg Institute — You can either live on campus or do it by mail.
5. Raymond Wright College — A lot of sodomy happens here. Yep, sodomy and free gum.
6. Duncan College — At Duncan College, your parents never see your report card. Guaranteed.
7. Chounter’s Culinary College — You’re not a student at Chounter, you’re a junior teacher.
8. Rinzen Music Academy — *and forestry
9. People’s Choice Junior College — At PCJC, we aren’t afraid to have TV Guide in our media center.
10. Furrer Bible College — Did you know some translations of the Bible endorse weed smoking? How about free video rentals?
11. Colombia University — Porque parece un error tipográfico en su curriculum vitae.
SUGGESTED READSList: Motivational Slogans Posted on the Walls of the Career Services Office at the Borough of Manhattan Community College
by Jules Lipoff (10/15/2002)
List: Questions Begged by the Banner in My College’s Admissions Office: “Where Great Futures Begin!!”
by Ben Mesirow (4/22/2010)
Welcome To Our A Capella Group!
by Mike Lacher (9/30/2010)
RECENTLYWanted: Holiday Husband
by Julie Daniel (11/21/2014)
How to Find Love: Lessons from an Old Maid: An Unfortunate Series of Unrequited Crushes
by Connie Sun (11/21/2014)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Beloved Woolly Armpits
by Jennifer Burns (11/21/2014)
POPULARIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
Why You Should Not Have Broken Up With Me, According to Various Critical Theories
by Tommy Wallach (11/3/2014)
A Small-Scale Organic Farmer Wants You to Know a Few Things
by Claire Boyles (10/20/2014)