1. Radclift — We’re only a couple of letters away from being a really good school.

2. Mortensen Taxidermy — Let’s not kid each other. You weren’t our first choice, either.

3. Mike’s Dental School — No lawsuits in 19 months.

4. Williamsburg Institute — You can either live on campus or do it by mail.

5. Raymond Wright College — A lot of sodomy happens here. Yep, sodomy and free gum.

6. Duncan College — At Duncan College, your parents never see your report card. Guaranteed.

7. Chounter’s Culinary College — You’re not a student at Chounter, you’re a junior teacher.

8. Rinzen Music Academy — *and forestry

9. People’s Choice Junior College — At PCJC, we aren’t afraid to have TV Guide in our media center.

10. Furrer Bible College — Did you know some translations of the Bible endorse weed smoking? How about free video rentals?

11. Colombia University — Porque parece un error tipográfico en su curriculum vitae.