Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Some of Dan Brown’s Works in Progress.
BY VINCE LICATA
The Tax Code: Jesus gets audited; is cleared of all charges on the third day.
The Source Code: Jesus tracks down software pirates among the Pharisees.
The Bar Code: Jesus uses the self-checkout lane; has difficulty scanning.
The Security Code: Jesus breaks into some houses; takes nothing, leaves love and understanding.
The Penal Code: Jesus in jail, again.
The Zip Code: Jesus mails a letter to the Pope; the Pope thinks it’s junk mail and throws it out; history changes forever.
The Genetic Code: The alleged illegitimate child of Jesus sues for patrimony.
The Enigma Code: The story of the Nazis’ “unbreakable” code. (Jesus not involved.)
The Health Code: Jesus gets mild food poisoning; is treated and released.
The Ethics Code: Jesus retracts the line “And blessed are the lawyers.”
The Area Code: Jesus changes his cell-phone company after too many dropped calls from His Dad.
The Municipal Code: Jesus is told to get the broken-down car out of his yard, or else pay a fine.
SUGGESTED READSList: Original Title Suggestions by J.D. Salinger’s Publisher That Could Have Been Deleterious to the Success of His Magnum Opus
by Eric Feezell (8/30/2006)
Actual Reviews Posted on amazon.com by Me, in Utter Slack-Jawed Ignorance of the Books Involved, and with Grammatical Errors Intact
by Tim Church (2/7/2000)
In Search of the Red Planet
by Paul Maliszewski (3/3/2000)
RECENTLYThe First Black Friday, by William Bradford
by River Clegg (11/27/2015)
Black Friday Special: Common Retail Questions Answered With Deeper Questions
by Kate Hahn (11/27/2015)
Butterball Help-Line Help-Line
by Alysia Gray Painter (11/25/2015)
POPULARThe Four Horsemen of Gentrification
by Zain Khalid (11/3/2015)
Monologue: An Extremely Pregnant Woman Has a Few Questions for the Motherhood Maternity Customer Service Desk
by Amy Rolph (8/4/2015)
Monologue: As Your Governor, I Will Protect You From Mass Shooters If They Are Syrian
by Pete Reynolds (11/18/2015)