Super-glued the tops of all the toilet seats to the toilets in the men’s restroom. (Albertson’s Grocery Store, Round Rock, Texas, 1993.)

Failed to show up to the first day of work without a good reason. (Blockbuster, Round Rock, Texas, 1993.)

Super-glued all of the toilet seats in the upright position in the women’s restroom. (Kroger’s, Austin, Texas, 1994.)

Did not disclose on my application that I had previously been fired from an Albertson’s. (First day of work, Albertson’s, College Station, Texas, 1997.)

While at work decided to nap in the backseat of my car; discovered later by a concerned customer who thought I was dead and brought the store manager out to check. (HEB Grocery Store, College Station, Texas, 1997.)

Fell asleep in the box crusher. (Tom Thumb Grocery Store, Dallas, Texas, 2001.)