Stop crying. Never cross Stevie Wonder. Muzzle that hurtful, nasty woman: Pelosi. Nuke Moscow. Soooooo overdue. Never trust Malaysian geishas to giggle well. They giggle horribly. After Clinton, this nation didn’t fix itself. I fixed it!

Assorted thoughts and suggestions left in the Oval Office for President Obama by his predecessor. Also, a mnemonic for the NCAA Division 1 football teams whose nicknames do not end with an “s” (Stanford Cardinal, NC State Wolfpack, Marshall Thundering Herd, Nevada Wolf Pack, Navy Midshipmen, Syracuse Orange, North Texas Mean Green, Tulane Green Wave, Tulsa Golden Hurricane, Alabama Crimson Tide, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Illinois Fighting Illini).