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Story Endings O. Henry Didn’t Use.
BY J.D. FINCH
The Head Hunter
Can you believe it, that necktie hanging off the shrunken head was exactly like the one I gave my father last Father’s Da—Hey, wait a minute!
The Poet And The Peasant
Sticking his hand in his greatcoat’s breast pocket he pulled out the long missing—or so he’d believed!—lucky rabbit’s foot. Once again he envisioned little Fluffy hopping down the bunny trail on 3 1/2 legs. “Ah, you can take the boy out of the country…” he said aloud, eyeing the newfound talisman as the Second Avenue bus rumbled past.
Madame Bo-Peep, Of The Ranches
“Well Missus,” said the sheriff. “That gas buildup was jes a’waitin fer your Teddy there…and there…and over there…oh, and over yonder… to have a seat and light him up one a them Havanas he took to.”
Pages from the Prayer-A-Day Calendar that had been hanging inside the outhouse were still fluttering to the ground after having been blown up into the treetops where they’d hung until the evening breeze came. One floated down and landed at Octavia’s feet. Covered in outhouse business the date was Teddy’s birthday.
Sociology In Serge And Straw
The scouts’ eyes were on me, that’s for sure. Now I knew how Gehrig and Ruth must have felt when these staring vultures appeared at their high school games. Still, I was cool and released the ball. It was true and three seconds later I had another strike.
“Like what you see?” I asked them with self-satisfaction as the all-but-invisible monkeyman down the lane reset the pins.
The Gift Of The Magi
“Why these combs are…” Her racing mind searched for le mot juste. “Well, they’re pieces of crap, can’t you see that? Take them back and get me something nice or you can book yourself a passage on a slow boat to some Conradesque darkest nowheresland. Cause you won’t be stayin here in paradise with me anymore, mister.”
The riderless horse had now itself been felled. All backstage gazed at each other in paralyzed grief until little Jimmy O’Day, who had been hiding behind some scenery, came out and did his dance, which—thankfully —had the usual effect.
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