BY ERIC SILVER
There was a woman who told lies.
If a car drove by, she’d say, “It flies.”
Night was day, clandestine lovers were casual acquaintances,
And coincidentally this description fits
My last four girlfriends.
This guy met a woman from Pisa.
He said he knew how to please her.
One day he was bragging,
And she said that she’d been faking it,
And of course all his friends were around to hear it.
There once was a man with much clout,
Who took a great liking to the stout.
He drank so much
And now he’s trying to get me to pay him a quarter
For cleaning my window with a greasy rag.
A man woke one day and said,
“I think I won’t leave this bed.”
His neighbors just laughed,
Because his obesity
Made it obvious that decision
Had already been made for him some time ago.
A man who resembled a hog,
Decided to get a dog.
I mean, let’s get serious:
With a face like that,
Who else is going to want to live with him?
SUGGESTED READSSaddam Hussein, Master of the Limerick
by Joe O'Neill (8/31/2004)
Sestina: Tina Sestina
by Doug Lang (10/25/2005)
Done in Pen: The Poems of New York Times Puzzle Editor Will Shortz
by Kevin Guilfoile (9/19/2000)
RECENTLYSentient Cloud of Poisonous Gas Seeks Companion
by Sam Shelstad (2/27/2015)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to Women Who Shame Catcalling
by Wendy Litner (2/27/2015)
List: Existentialist Quotes for Social Media Platforms
by Jim Sabataso (2/27/2015)
POPULARReasons You Were Not Promoted That are Totally Unrelated to Gender
by Homa Mojtabai (1/27/2015)
List: What a Straight Man’s Favorite Musical Says About Him
by Mara Wilson (2/10/2015)
Jamie and Jeff’s Birth Plan
by Paul William Davies (12/26/2012)