BY ERIC SILVER
There was a woman who told lies.
If a car drove by, she’d say, “It flies.”
Night was day, clandestine lovers were casual acquaintances,
And coincidentally this description fits
My last four girlfriends.
This guy met a woman from Pisa.
He said he knew how to please her.
One day he was bragging,
And she said that she’d been faking it,
And of course all his friends were around to hear it.
There once was a man with much clout,
Who took a great liking to the stout.
He drank so much
And now he’s trying to get me to pay him a quarter
For cleaning my window with a greasy rag.
A man woke one day and said,
“I think I won’t leave this bed.”
His neighbors just laughed,
Because his obesity
Made it obvious that decision
Had already been made for him some time ago.
A man who resembled a hog,
Decided to get a dog.
I mean, let’s get serious:
With a face like that,
Who else is going to want to live with him?
SUGGESTED READSSaddam Hussein, Master of the Limerick
by Joe O'Neill (8/31/2004)
Sestina: Tina Sestina
by Doug Lang (10/25/2005)
Done in Pen: The Poems of New York Times Puzzle Editor Will Shortz
by Kevin Guilfoile (9/19/2000)
RECENTLYWilliam Blake, Color Analyst for the Atlanta Braves
by Walter Jones (9/17/2014)
A Story from John Warner’s New Collection, Tough Day for the Army
by John Warner (9/17/2014)
Testomania: Did You Go to One of the Best Schools in the World?
by Janet Manley (9/17/2014)
POPULARClassic Movies Changed to Not Be Sexist
by Blythe Roberson (8/14/2014)
Best Joke Ever: Mitch Hedberg: Hippie Martian Zen Genius
by Mark Peters (8/28/2014)
Hello Stranger On the Street, Could You Please Tell Me How to Take Care of My Baby?
by Wendy Molyneux (8/16/2012)