Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Text Messages That Would Have Been Helpful.
BY JEN STATSKY
[Originally published March 20, 2008.]
yo Abe, r u still going 2 the theatr 2nite? hve a weird feeling bout it, y dont u and mary cum by here instead? dont wnt 2 talk about slavery all nite tho, its my weekend 2 u kno? txt me back
hey just wnted 2 give the heads up, CC on way w 3 shps, want 2 colonize u. dont giv n unless u think casinos r gr8. txt me back
hey u, horse = greeks. dont let in. did i leave my toga @ ur place? txt me back
wut up Romeo, its ur boy the friar. gave ur girl sum shit, not dead. mayb u could giv it 2 her in her sleep tho lol. brunch tomoro? txt me back
british r cuming, british r cuming, british r cuming. dont feel like goin out 2nite but txt me back 2 let me kno u got this
SUGGESTED READSList: Metacritic Throughout History
by Ben Greenman (11/10/2010)
Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: Question 2: Should the President Grow a Beard?
by Chris White (10/5/2009)
Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: Question 7: Who Would Win in a Fight?
by Chris White (1/25/2010)
RECENTLYLeave Your Jeopardy! Anecdotes to Me
by Ravi Mangla (12/17/2014)
The Hidden Rich: Methinks Thou Dost Protest(ant) Too Much
by Jane Dough (12/17/2014)
List: Three Site Specific Installations, Two and a Half Years Post BFA
by Claire Hamilton (12/17/2014)
POPULARI Am an Artisanal Attorney
by John Frank Weaver (12/12/2014)
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
A Farewell to Hemnes: Ernest Hemingway Assembles an IKEA Daybed Frame With Three Drawers
by Jeff Steinbrink (12/2/2014)