The John Wooden Pyramid of Success Meets Shaquille O’Neal’s Twitter Feed.
BY DAVID HART
COMPETITIVE GREATNESS: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Be at your best when your best is needed. Real love of a hard battle.
SHAQ: I wanna b a ufc fighter, raaaaaaaaaaaaaa dats my growl , lol
POISE: Just being yourself. Being at ease in any situation. Never fighting yourself.
SHAQ: I’m watchin the maury povich show, I’m not the father, schwwwwww
CONFIDENCE: Respect without fear. Confident not cocky. May come from faith in yourself in knowing that you are prepared.
SHAQ: The nacho drag taco bell commercial is different
CONDITION: Mental—Moral—Physical. Rest, exercise, and diet must be considered. Dissipation must be eliminated.
SHAQ: Can I plaese cheat on my diet and go to dairy. Queen pls pls pls
SKILL: A knowledge of and the ability to properly execute the fundamentals. Be prepared. Cover every detail.
SHAQ: Just got a fresh cut for da game, dam I’m sugly, dats sexy and ugly mixed in one
TEAM SPIRIT: An eagerness to sacrifice personal interests or glory for the welfare of all. The team comes first.
SHAQ: Just fed 400 families n orlando me and larry jones
SELF-CONTROL: Emotions under control. Delicate adjustment between mind and body. Keep judgment and common sense.
SHAQ: wintana is hot, I like dat daddy name winston momma named tonia dats hot lol
ALERTNESS: Be observing constantly. Be quick to spot a weakness and correct it or use it as the case may warrant.
SHAQ: Its freezn n portland, schwlbbbbb schlwbbbb dats da lip shiver sound
INITIATIVE: Cultivate the ability to make decisions and think alone. Desire to excel.
SHAQ: I’m goin to the alamo tomorro to get one of those daniel boone squirrel tail hats, I’m n san antonio, in case u didn’t kno were the alamo is
INTENTNESS: Ability to resist temptation and stay with your course. Concentrate on your objective and be determined to reach your goal.
SHAQ: No naps 4 the diesel today, but im ready 2 play
INDUSTRIOUSNESS: There is no substitute for work. Worthwhile things come from hard work and careful planning.
SHAQ: Weee weee wha weee weee wha weee wee weeee what’s song is this
FRIENDSHIP: Comes from mutual esteem, respect, and devotion. A sincere liking for all.
SHAQ: Goodnite to all my brothers and sisters bout to watch stepbrothers and unborn, plus my battery is dying
LOYALTY: To yourself and to all those dependent upon you. Keep your self-respect.
SHAQ: I had a nokia e90 but it fell n da toilet, now I have a shaqberry lol, I’m a toilet twitterer
COOPERATION: With all levels of your co-workers. Help others and see the other side.
SHAQ: David stern just asked me if i twittered today, i love dat man, he understands, love u all, peace, shalom, and happiness 2 everyone
ENTHUSIASM: Your heart must be in your work. Stimulate others.
SHAQ: A Rastaman walks n2 a bank & hands the teller a bag of weed. She says “Sir, what is this 4?” Da Rasta said, "Mi wan open a joint account!
SUGGESTED READSFail Whale Speaks
by Marco Kaye (3/3/2010)
List: Calvin Coolidge Wins the Internet
by Maureen Miller (11/12/2009)
List: My MFA Workshop Responds to My Twitter Status Updates
by Anthony Sams (12/3/2009)
RECENTLYThe Review Submission Policies Agreement Form
by Matthew Butterick (3/4/2015)
Monologue: Michel Foucault Complains to His Building’s Super
by Olivia Ciacci (3/4/2015)
Facepalm Pilot: Where Technology Meets Stupidity: Lose Weight Fast With These Cartoon Characters!
by Vijith Assar (3/4/2015)
POPULARList: What a Straight Man’s Favorite Musical Says About Him
by Mara Wilson (2/10/2015)
Reasons You Were Not Promoted That are Totally Unrelated to Gender
by Homa Mojtabai (1/27/2015)
Joni Mitchell Applies for a Tenure Track Philosophy Position
by Jedidiah Anderson (2/9/2015)