Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Latest in Innuendo Bumper Stickers.
Feng shui experts do it with strategically-placed mirrors.
Medical marijuana-using glaucoma patients do it until they go blind, and even after, for the pain.
Outplacement counsultants do it in what used to be your boss’s office, right at the desk where he once called you an “invaluable asset” and hinted at a raise.
Working moms who think that keeping a journal will help them become mystery novelists get around to doing it only very occasionally.
Reunion attendees do it with a bittersweet sadness and sense of what might have been, if only they had known how beautiful they truly were when young.
Ex-teachers regret doing it with class.
SUGGESTED READSList: Old Bumper Stickers Updated
by Kevin Reifler (10/1/2004)
The Great Sag
by Paul Maliszewski (10/4/2000)
Top Ten Most Censored Press Release of 1998. No. 4
by McSweeney's Editors (5/12/1999)
RECENTLYExistentialism for Millennials
by Sarah Solomon (8/3/2015)
Hungover Bear and Friends: You Deserve Love
by Ali Fitzgerald (8/3/2015)
Teddy Wayne’s Unpopular Proverbs: Haste
by Teddy Wayne (8/3/2015)
POPULARBay Area to Standard American English Translator
by Louis Weinstein (7/28/2015)
Nobel Prize Winner Peter Higgs Regrets Fielding Your Physics-Based Dungeons and Dragons Questions
by Mark Rooke (7/8/2015)
Toddler Discipline Made Easy
by Julie Vick (7/14/2015)