Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Oldest Tricks in the Book.
Tap neighbor on left shoulder. When he turns to look, club his wife and drag her to your cave.
Kill mammoth. Crawl into mammoth carcass. When saber-toothed tiger comes to feast, explode from mammoth with spear.
Trek to volcano with bundle of sticks. Plunge sticks into molten rock. Retread your path by night, being careful to keep torch burning. Arrive at dwelling. Claim discovery of fire.
Tell wife you go to hunt. Instead, sneak off and watch sunset.
Trap child in deep recess of cave where he cannot escape. Perform elaborate shadow play on cave walls. Expose him to truth when he is old enough to hunt mammoth.
Kill mammoth. Crawl into mammoth carcass. When neighbor comes to feast, explode from mammoth with cake.
SUGGESTED READSMy Genetic Memories.
by Mark O'Donnell (12/9/1998)
List: Paleolithic Bryan Adams: A Playlist
by Josiah Lindsey (3/30/2009)
Monologue: Thak, The Most Organized Member Of The Party Of Roughly 70 People Who Originally Settled North America
by Richard D. Allen (6/21/2005)
RECENTLYWelcome to the Stay-at-Home Dads’ Grand Theft Auto Crew
by Ben Godar (3/11/2014)
Testomania: Are You Color Blind?
by Janet Manley (3/11/2014)
List: Captions for Models in Knitting Catalogs
by Olivia Ciacci (3/11/2014)
POPULAROpen Letters: An Open Letter to Men On the Subway, Specifically During Morning Rush Hour On the A Train Between Jay Street and Canal
by Jenna Clark Embrey (2/21/2014)
Kama Sutra for Couples Who Have Been Dating for Over Three Years
by Chelsea Davison (1/15/2014)
I Hope You Enjoy This Artisanal Knuckle Sandwich
by Keith Wisniewski (2/26/2014)