Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
The Oldest Tricks in the Book.
Tap neighbor on left shoulder. When he turns to look, club his wife and drag her to your cave.
Kill mammoth. Crawl into mammoth carcass. When saber-toothed tiger comes to feast, explode from mammoth with spear.
Trek to volcano with bundle of sticks. Plunge sticks into molten rock. Retread your path by night, being careful to keep torch burning. Arrive at dwelling. Claim discovery of fire.
Tell wife you go to hunt. Instead, sneak off and watch sunset.
Trap child in deep recess of cave where he cannot escape. Perform elaborate shadow play on cave walls. Expose him to truth when he is old enough to hunt mammoth.
Kill mammoth. Crawl into mammoth carcass. When neighbor comes to feast, explode from mammoth with cake.
SUGGESTED READSMy Genetic Memories.
by Mark O'Donnell (12/9/1998)
Monologue: Thak, The Most Organized Member Of The Party Of Roughly 70 People Who Originally Settled North America
by Richard D. Allen (6/21/2005)
List: Paleolithic Bryan Adams: A Playlist
by Josiah Lindsey (3/30/2009)
RECENTLYTake The Challenge
by Sarah Rosenshine (1/30/2015)
Monologue: I’m the Cool Wife In a Snack Dip Commercial
by Mike Lacher (1/30/2015)
List: Words That Could Conceivably Be Used to Describe Both the Super Bowl and a Superb Owl
by Michael Ward (1/30/2015)
POPULARJamie and Jeff’s Birth Plan
by Paul William Davies (12/26/2012)
Reasons You Were Not Promoted That are Totally Unrelated to Gender
by Homa Mojtabai (1/27/2015)
Product Review: The Invisible Backpack of White Privilege from L.L. Bean
by Joyce Miller (12/31/2014)