Lists

- - - -

Send your list submissions to lists@mcsweeneys.net.

Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney’s Book of Lists is available for purchase at any bookstore you care to name.

- - - -

The Other Bathroom Numbers.

BY David Weschler

- - - -

3. Shower
4. Shave
5. Talk to mirror
6. Vomit
7. Moisturize
8. Brush teeth
9. Masturbate
10. Clean (a. tub; b. toilet; c. sink; d. floor)
11. First aid
12. Both 1 and 2
13. Take drugs (a. legal; b. illegal)
14. Just want to be alone

See all articles from this column

RECENTLY

Dendrophilia and Other Social Taboos: Hired Help

by Dani Burlison (5/25/2012)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to Myself the Day After the 2004 Presidential Election

by Joey Camire (5/25/2012)

Bream Gives Me Hiccups: Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old: Sushi Nozawa

by Jesse Eisenberg (5/24/2012)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, Lucky Peach, Wholphin, Grantland Quarterly, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store.

Lists

The Other Bathroom Numbers.

BY David Weschler

SUGGESTED READS

RECENTLY

POPULAR