[Originally published February 14, 2000.]

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Bambi

Filth.

Casablanca

This movie is filth.

Cat People

A race may civilize itself BY LANGUAGE, not film. Cat People is filth.

Gentleman Jim

To the Animals who made this usurious film: god damn you.

The Magnificent Ambersons

This movie is indistinguishable from the filth-rustlings of swine in a sty.

The Man Who Came to Dinner

May you choke on it, bacilli.

Yankee Doodle Dandy

I sort of liked James Cagney’s filthy Irish energy in this one.

The Palm Beach Story

BLESS: The Italian Dolcestilnovisti, the “sweet new style” current in the time of the papish Ghelfs and the imperial Ghibellines. One will particularly take heed of its foremost practitioner, Guido Cavalcanti.

BLAST: Preston Sturges and the Jewish moneylenders who helped him to make this film.

Now, Voyager

Two boils for the director’s infected liver.

This Gun for Hire

This film reeks of syphilis. Filth.