Things Customers Have Said after Asking Me Where All the Oprah Books Are Located and I Point over Their Shoulder, Saying, “Six o’ Clock.”

“If it’d been a snake, I’d be bit.”

“If she were a snake, I’d a been bit!”

“Good thing it wasn’t a snake — it woulda got me.”

“Sheesh… If that book was a snake, I’d be dead already.”

“Glad it wasn’t a dog!”

“If it was a snake, I’d be in trouble, huh guy?”