Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
Things Editorial Assistants Should Never Say to Senior Editors.
I was inputting your edits and I noticed you spelled a few words wrong. Most of them were obvious mistakes, so I just changed them. Unless you were trying to misspell them on purpose to prove a point or something.
The Chicago Manual of Style is good, but honestly, I prefer to use my own instincts.
Have you read The Da Vinci Code? It is SO good.
Shirley McLean is signing copies of her new book in the conference room. Can I go?
No, thanks, I don’t want to mail that.
His style is so unique—he’s like Victor Hugo meets David Sedaris, except he’s not nearly as good as either of those guys.
Do you know what our imprint needs? A book about porn. No, I’m serious.
I’ve written a few novels myself, you know.
These must be the halcyon years of your career, huh? [pause] Did I use “halcyon” correctly—I didn’t, did I? Fuck…
Oh, my God, I’m sorry—I just assumed you were a lesbian.
SUGGESTED READSJohn Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Notes on “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” as Delivered to Axl Rose by His Editor
by John Moe (7/7/2006)
Some Letters. Some of These Letters Make Us Sad
by McSweeney's Editors (7/23/1999)
Letters to the Editor of Babybug, a Magazine for Readers Age Six Months to Two Years
by Michael Depp (6/6/2007)
RECENTLYNew Study Suggests Pregnant Woman Silently Yearns for Your Opinion
by Rachel Bone (5/25/2016)
Listicles For People Exactly Like You: 11 Things 59-Year-Old’s Named Karen Who Live in Newport Beach Have to Deal With
by Rufi Thorpe (5/25/2016)
Monologue: Before We Give This Big Corporate Presentation, I Need You to Smack Me in the Dick
by Jon Plester (5/25/2016)
POPULARI Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Grade Your Final Papers
by Robin Lee Mozer (5/2/2016)
List: Things the World’s Most and Least Privileged People Say
by John-Clark Levin (5/19/2016)
List: Here Are Some Fucking Barefoot Contessa Cookbook Titles
by Micah Osler (9/30/2014)