Three New Mac Ad Ideas.
BY Tom Batten
The effortlessly hip but still harmlessly nerdy Mac Guy stands next to the antiquated but sweet PC Guy in their standard pose. The Mac Guy pulls a pair of binoculars from behind his back and begins looking off into the distance.
PC Guy asks him, “Excuse me, what is that you are doing?”
Mac Guy looks away from his binoculars for a moment, replying, “Oh, hey. I’m just doing a simple search. No big deal.”
PC Guy smiles and says, “Hey, I can do that, too!”
PC Guy picks up some binoculars off the ground and raises them to his face. However, instead of looking through them like the Mac Guy, he hurls them against the wall behind him, where they smash into a thousand pieces. He then picks up a gas can and dumps the contents over his head.
The Mac Guy is taken aback by this behavior, and yells at him, “What the hell are you doing, dude?”
PC Guy has now taken a book of matches from his coat pocket. He looks at Mac Guy with a smarmy grin. “I’m running a simple application.”
With that, he lights himself on fire and dies screaming.
Same pose to begin with as usual. A beautiful Japanese girl comes up to the Mac Guy and kisses him passionately, then takes his hand and stands smiling beside him.
PC Guy asks, “Hey, what is that all about?”
Mac Guy: “Oh, we’re just making a connection. It’s pretty effortless when you’re a Mac, dude.”
Another beautiful Japanese girl walks up and smiles coyly at PC Guy.
“Oh, a simple connection … well, I can do that, too.”
PC Guy takes the Japanese girl by the hand and pulls her close to him. He moves in to kiss her, and the instant before they make contact she heaves forward and vomits a writhing mass of worms into his mouth.
PC Guy turns to Mac Guy, worms falling from his mouth, and mumbles, “See? No problem!”
Mac Guy and PC Guy stand just outside of an outdoor basketball court in an urban area. Mac Guy leans up against a fence with a relaxed and cocky grin on his face, while PC Guy stands anxiously wringing his hands.
After a moment, a gang of greaser-style young toughs appear and surrounds them, circling like a school of sharks and snapping their fingers in a threatening and rhythmic manner.
Mac Guy tells the clearly flustered PC Guy, “Don’t worry, I’ll handle this.”
He steps forward and punches the nearest tough in the face. The tough hardly reacts, but Mac Guy screams in pain and cradles his shattered hand against his chest. All the toughs laugh and begin to tighten their circle, closing in for the kill …
Suddenly, PC Guy lets loose with a horrific scream and steps forward, swinging his arms in wild circles. He launches himself into the middle of the gang as though he were the hammer of mighty Thor himself, sending young toughs flying through the air, trailing hair gel and switchblade combs behind them.
Once the battle is done, he returns to the cowering Mac Guy and helps him to his feet. Mac Guy looks at PC Guy, completely in awe of his powers.
“Dude, how did you do that?”
PC Guy straightens his suit and replies, “Your sleek design may be more aesthetically pleasing and practical, but it falls apart immediately when used as a weapon. I may be clunky and old-fashioned, but I’m easily heavy enough and sturdy enough to crush a man’s skull.”
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