Today, Some Lists.
BY ERIC MAIERSON, JEZ BURROWS and JOSH KRAMER
THINGS I’D PROBABLY SAY
IF THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION WERE JUST
A WEEKLY TV SHOW AND I WERE
A REGULAR VIEWER.
By Eric Maierson
“Now, see, you can’t just go and do something like that. That would be illegal.”
“Boy, someone’s gonna get fired for that.”
“Wasn’t that the one who made all the mistakes? Why is she getting promoted?”
“Come on, in real life you’d never get away with something like that.”
“They really expect us to believe that?”
“Am I the only one confused here?”
“Does this make any sense to you?”
“Why is this still on?”
FOR GEORGE ORWELL’S 1984.
By Jez Burrows
O Brother, Where Art Thou? Oh Right, Everywhere
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Faceless Omnipotent Oppressors
What the Fuck Are You Staring At?
Guys, Seriously, Can I Just Get a Little Me-Time Here?
Hate: The Musical!
Two Guys, a Girl, and a Chilling Dystopian Landscape
FAMOUS NAMES REWRITTEN
IN A WORLD GREATLY INFLUENCED
BY THE MAIN CHARACTER
OF A 1982 DISNEY MOVIE.
By Josh Kramer
Tron the Baptist
Long Tron Silver
Sir Elton Tron
Capt. Tron Smith
Pope Tron Paul II
SUGGESTED READSThings I Have Stolen From My Friends and Family
by Thomas Collins (1/21/2000)
Eighteen Half Truths
by Christopher Painter (2/18/2000)
The Red Wing Shoe Factory: Nine Points of Interest
by Whitney Pastorek (3/15/2000)
RECENTLYSocrates Addresses the County School Board
by Dan Reiter (10/2/2014)
My Signed Comedy LPs: One Comedy Nerd’s Obsessive Journey: Monty Python
by Dan Pasternack (10/2/2014)
List: Expanded Explanations to Have On Hand to Convince Others Your Purebred Labrador Retriever is Really a Rescue
by Carolyn Mason (10/2/2014)
POPULARIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
A Generic College Paper
by Jon Wu (9/19/2014)
My Grading Scale for the Fall Semester, Composed Entirely of Samuel Beckett Quotes
by Matt Bell (8/31/2012)