Yo mama so fat…
the doctor told her she was at risk of serious heart disease and she would most likely die prematurely.
Yo mama so stupid…
that after years of blisters and headaches working as a waitress to pay for a college education her parents couldn’t provide her, she got rejected from the only college she could afford.
Yo mama so ugly…
she weeps wet, salty tears every time she glimpses herself in the mirror, thinking to herself, “No one will ever love me.”
Yo mama so skinny…
her colleagues speculate in hushed tones about what they assume to be anorexia nervosa.
Yo mama so poor…
she can’t afford a Christmas tree so she goes and finds a sad little twig in the yard and cuts out construction paper ornaments so that she can bring just a glimmer of light to her children’s Christmas celebration.
Yo mama so tall…
the most promising romantic relationship of her life ended prematurely, due to insecurity on the part of a man somewhat shorter than her.
Yo mama so old…
she spends her nights awake, sweating with fear, wondering what the afterlife holds.
B U T T E R F L Y S N A P S .
BY ANDREW SMALES
Yo mama so ugly, when she emerged from the chrysalis, the Monarch said “put that back in, and turn the cocoon off of NASTY SKANK mode!”
Yo mama so stupid, when the Monarch said “why does the cocoon stink?” she said “wait, you said to fill it with PUPAE?”
Yo mama so ugly, the inchworm geometridae saw her and he turned into the half-inchworm geometridae!
Yo mama so easy, she heard the entomologist say “this specimen is a Tiger Swallowtail” and she said “Swallow tail? Don’t mind if I do!”
