[Originally published October 7, 2010.]

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“For a cup of coffee?! What a steal!”

“You’re right, we SHOULD open a quaint little B&B here.”

“I always hear my neighbors doing the most normal stuff really late at night!”

“Man, riding the subways here sure isn’t like being in one giant maze of sadness.”

“Times Square… what a ghost town!”

“I came here because I was such a fan of Sex and the City, and sure enough, my experience has been JUST like that.”

“Hmm… it’s been a while since someone exposed himself to me in public.”

“I thought I heard a gunshot, but it was just someone setting off fireworks to celebrate the city’s diversity.”

“I just love how close everything is… to New Jersey.”