(Check all that apply.)

Invitations $100

Invitation Embossing $300

Website Design & Maintenance $2,000

New York Times Announcement $750

Welcome Balloons $119

Welcome Blimp $2,400

Valet Stroller Parking $500

Nanny Holding Area $250

Magician $600

Rabbit Groomer $400

Puppet Show $750

Kabuki Workshop $2,500

Balloon Animals $200

Balloon Animals (life-sized) $1,800

Balloon Sistine Chapel $21,000

Komodo Dragon Exhibit/Demonstration $7,000

Komodo Dragon Venom Antidote (per vial) $267,482

The Wiggles $80,000

Laurie Berkner $15,000

Non-Equity Actor With Guitar $25

Bouncy Castle Rental $1,500

Bouncy Castle Liability Insurance $20,000

Craft Table $400

Metallurgy Table $1,200

Gothic Architecture Table $8,000

Nano-Robotics Lab $14,000

Anti-Gravity Chamber $1.3 million

Chocolate Pudding Diving Tank $12,000

Organic Chicken Nuggets $400

Artisanal Ketchup $150

Birthday Cake $575

Dairy-Free Birthday Cake Surcharge Just For That One Damn Kid $300

Skittles $174.23

Photographer $800

Videographer $1,200

Motion-Capture 3-D Holographer $47,570

Embedded Wall Street Journal Reporter $500

Archivist $300

Dramaturg $250

Ken Burns $22,000

Sushi for Parents $827

Open Bar for Parents $2,300

Reiki Masseuse for Parents $550

Elvis Costello Acoustic Concert for Parents $35,000

Dolce & Gabbana Goody Bags $795

I Guess You Want Something In Those $4,738

iPod Lollipops $3,582

Bronze Mini-Busts of Birthday Child $16,200

I Bet You Won’t Notice This Charge $1,750

Closing Fireworks & Laser Show $47,900

Ambien For Kids (per dose) $55

Birthday Money Brokerage Fee $5,000

Gift Hauling $600