Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
Washington State’s New Field Sobriety Tests to Check for Driving Under the Influence of Marijuana.
BY HART RUSEN
“Hold these Cheetos in your hands for as long as you can without eating them.”
“Tell me about your favorite Pink Floyd song in less than 30 seconds.”
“Describe the sound you hear when I tap my nightstick on your head.”
“Count backwards from 1 to 0.”
“I’m going to massage your shoulders. Tell me when to stop.”
“Discuss your favorite moments from Discovery Channel’s Shark Week 2007.”
“See how long you can hold your eyes more than 25% open.”
“Look directly into the flashing lights on my patrol car and try not to say, ‘Awesome.’”
“Try to contemplate this without having your mind blown: Is it possible that our entire universe could be contained on the fingernail of a giant existing in a much larger universe?”
“Now, tell me how many bong hits you’ve had tonight.”
SUGGESTED READSList: Drug-Culture Symbioses
by Nik Blahunka and Robin "A" Morast (7/7/2001)
The Stoner Gods are Angry
by Greg Paulos (12/16/2010)
List: Marijuana or Roller Coaster?
by Lockie Hunter (2/4/2010)
RECENTLYMurder Beach is Open for Summer!
by Matt Bower (5/27/2016)
List: Ways in Which We Swipe Right After 34
by JoJo Franzen (5/27/2016)
Inside Witnesses: One Crime’s Many Narratives: Amy Makes it Home, Part 2
by Marti Jonjak (5/27/2016)
POPULARList: Things the World’s Most and Least Privileged People Say
by John-Clark Levin (5/19/2016)
I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Grade Your Final Papers
by Robin Lee Mozer (5/2/2016)
List: Obituaries for Teenage Girls If They Actually Died When They Say They’re Dying
by Karen Chee (5/26/2016)