• Suggests drawing names this year for Xmas exchange
  • Wicked fastball that few batters can touch
  • Has learned to recognize the first signs of choking
  • Water into wine
  • Attends matinees rather than evening performances
  • Last season’s goals-against average: 1.36
  • Cuts his own hair (but not often)
  • Cuts his apostles’ hair (but not often)
  • Clicks “File,” clicks “Save As,” types an appropriate title in field, clicks “Save,” then prays to God his computer doesn’t lose it
  • Dying for your sins