Send your list submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Ways Jesus Saves.
BY Aaron Burch, Christopher Monks, Elizabeth Ellen, Jensen Whelan, Laura Carney, Matthew Simmons, Melissa Bell, Pasha Malla and Steven Seighman
- - - -
- Suggests drawing names this year for Xmas exchange
- Wicked fastball that few batters can touch
- Has learned to recognize the first signs of choking
- Water into wine
- Attends matinees rather than evening performances
- Last season’s goals-against average: 1.36
- Cuts his own hair (but not often)
- Cuts his apostles’ hair (but not often)
- Clicks “File,” clicks “Save As,” types an appropriate title in field, clicks “Save,” then prays to God his computer doesn’t lose it
- Dying for your sins
SUGGESTED READSList: Obscenities Uttered by Jesus Christ
by Andrew Sutherland and Cara Jennison (8/3/2005)
Christ Goes To Happy Hour.
by Duane Swierczynski (4/13/2001)
List: Nicknames for Jesus
by Ed Page (7/16/2003)
RECENTLYSenior Year is Totally Gonna Rule Because After That My Life is Going to Be an Endless Abyss of Longing!
by Lane Moore (5/24/2013)
Open Letters: An Open Letter to the Hot Canadian Zumba Teacher Who Pulled Me Onstage After My Mother Died
by Christine Schrum (5/24/2013)
The 49ers: Oral Histories of Americans Facing 50: The 49ers, #119: Kathryn Harrison
by Rob Trucks (5/24/2013)
POPULARI Would Like to Be Pope
by John Ortved (2/25/2013)
Monologue: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
by Mike Lacher (6/15/2010)
Nate Silver Offers Up a Statistical Analysis of Your Failing Relationship
by Jory John (2/26/2013)