CAN BUY:
112 million hot dogs at The Ballpark at Arlington
One Snapple for every American
A lovely dresser or perhaps an end table
Dignity
Every Sugarcubes album ever made, several times over
All the fixins for a really big sandwich
A big bag of chips to have with sandwich
Honus Wagner baseball card
Love
This guy I know, Doug
Team Chemistry
Dune buggy with rocket engine
A thrill
A rod
Extra toppings on pizza
CANNOT BUY:
113 million hot dogs at The Ballpark at Arlington
Two Snapples for every American
A stronger over-the-counter pain reliever than Excedrin
Custom hood portrait of self for every car in the world
The love of Miss Jaclyn Smith
The rights to pave Mt. Everest and make it a rad skateboard park
Honus Wagner hockey card
Serenade from Werner Klemperer
The Cubist movement