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What the People Who Used to Live in My House Apparently Said to Each Other Before Selling It to Me.
“I think wall-to-wall beige carpeting is the way to go.”
“How can we beige it up even more?”
“Let’s paint all the walls the exact same beige as the beige light-switch covers at Home Depot.”
“Still not beige enough.”
“We could paint the moldings beige, that might help.”
“Everyone loves beige!”
SUGGESTED READSDink Shui: The Art of Uncomfortable Living In My Yurt
by Cory Koller (5/20/2010)
My Dream Kitchen
by Mark Schatzker (3/13/2000)
A Review of the New Museum in My Neighborhood
by Sophie Pollitt-Cohen (1/22/2010)
RECENTLYHere at Cline Family Country Cabin, We Do Things a Little Differently
by Jeremiah Tucker (10/31/2014)
Facepalm Pilot — Vijith Assar Explores Intersections of Technology and Stupidity: Are Zombies Racist?
by Vijith Assar (10/31/2014)
List: Things a Real Estate Agent Shouldn’t Say When Trying to Sell a House That Was Once at the Center of a Popular Horror Movie
by Kerreanna DiMauro (10/31/2014)
POPULARIt’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
by Colin Nissan (9/23/2014)
Security Questions for Single, Childless People
by Shannon Reed (10/3/2014)
List: Boat Parts or Names of Unvaccinated Children?
by Grant Pardee (10/6/2014)