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What the Stock Pages Would Look Like if Businesses Chose Ticker Abbreviations the Way Bar Patrons Choose Initials for Arcade-Game High-Score Lists.
BY B.M. LILLEY
ASS -1 1/4
SEX +1 3/4
SUGGESTED READSList: Rejected Arcade Games
by Jules Lipoff (4/2/2002)
List: Currently Available Stock Symbols that Might Lead to an Underwhelming IPO
by Brian Sack (4/2/2004)
List: Biblical Figures of the NYSE
by Jim Connelly (12/3/2009)
RECENTLYRequired Reading Essay Questions Written By a First-Year Adjunct Who Does Not Have the Time or Wherewithal to Do the Required Reading
by Shay K. Azoulay (7/29/2015)
Best Joke Ever: Coyle and Sharpe: ’60s Pranksters Who Were a Bazillion Years Ahead of Their Time
by Mark Peters (7/29/2015)
List: Strain of Marijuana or Shade of Covergirl Outlast Stay Brilliant Nail Glosstini?
by Chloe Kent (7/29/2015)
POPULARNobel Prize Winner Peter Higgs Regrets Fielding Your Physics-Based Dungeons and Dragons Questions
by Mark Rooke (7/8/2015)
The SCOTUS Marriage Decision, in Haiku
by Daniela Lapidous (6/26/2015)
Toddler Discipline Made Easy
by Julie Vick (7/14/2015)