[Originally published October 4, 2012.]

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Metroid: You have killed a mosquito with hairspray.

Rygar: You have chewed three or more pieces of Black Cherry Hubba Bubba at one time.

Ice Hockey: You have sprained your ankle kicking a pumpkin.

Blades of Steel: You have sprained your ankle stomping on a juice box.

Metal Gear: You have eaten astronaut ice cream as a meal.

Tetris: You have used a protractor as a utensil.

Duck Tales: You have spelled out “BOOBS” with Alpha-Bits.

Mega Man: Your favorite color is pink or black.

Excitebike: Your favorite color is gold or silver.

City Connection: Your favorite color is plaid.

Blaster Master: You have played air guitar to the 3-2-1 Contact theme.

The Legend of Zelda: You have carried a piece of string cheese behind your ear for a whole day.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link: You have used an oversized licorice whip as a jumprope.

Nintendo Baseball: You know who Aldo Nova is.

Ice Climber: You have a self-diagnosed lecithin deficiency.

Ikari Warriors: You have injured someone with a remote-control car.

Gun.Smoke: You have kicked a remote-control car in anger.

Rush’n Attack: You have kicked a Roomba in anger.

Pro Wrestling: You have spilled an entire Cup O’ Noodles onto a beanbag chair.

Ghosts ’n Goblins: You have been caught kissing a Star Wars pillow.

Top Gun: You have filled a water balloon with grape soda.

Castlevania: You have killed a fly with an algebra test.

Super Mario Bros.: You have hit a wiffle ball with a skateboard deck.

Super Mario Bros. 2: You have hit a moth with a tennis racquet.

Super Mario Bros. 3: You have attempted to carbonate milk.

R.C. Pro-Am: You have fit six or more people into a hammock.

Elevator Action: You have accidentally taken a sip of Drakkar Noir.

Wizards & Warriors: You have used Velcro as a pencil holder or bandage.

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!: You have worn two different colors of Converse All-Stars at the same time.

Kid Icarus: Your internet password includes a cat’s birthday.

Bionic Commando: You have looked up “sex” in the dictionary within the last two years.

Tecmo Bowl: You have attempted to skateboard while wearing roller skates.

Duck Hunt: You have injured yourself trying to drink out of a sprinkler.

Kung Fu: You still own a Duran Duran Trapper Keeper.

Goonies II: You still own a pair of Batman or Spider-Man Underoos.

Ninja Gaiden: You have used an elastic headband as a belt or tourniquet.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: You have used Cheez Whiz in self-defense.

Contra: You have wet the bed exactly twice: once as a child, once as an adult.

Gyromite: You have fed a jellybean to a Venus Flytrap.

Winter Games: You have bathed a dog and a cat at the same time.

California Games: You have given a hamster a mohawk.