What’s Up Next for Jack Layton’s Mustache?

1. Ceremonial dusting off of home plate at the CAW Annual Slo-Pitch Tournament in Oshawa’s Lakeview Park, in mid-July.

2. Comparing self to Stalin’s mustache for title of Greatest Socialist Mustache Ever.

3. Twitching semi-maniacally at prospect of holding the balance of Canadian political power.

4. Tickling Olivia.

5. Demonstrating that government can work seamlessly in the everyday lives of people through application and example of Danier Dry-Look mustache mousse.

6. Performing “Honorary Colander” duties at East Coast Couscous Festival in Truro, Nova Scotia, in late July.