Good Cop, Other Cops (2/11/2010)

Great Moments in Sports, Which, Had They Involved Me, Would Not Have Been Such Great Moments (1/14/2010)

AvocadoTheftBook: FAQ (10/13/2009)

Welcome to Our Branding House (6/29/2009)

Selected Personals From the American Psychiatric Association’s Dating Website (3/2/2009)

My Ideas for Staged Photos Set Me Apart From Other Wedding Photographers (1/27/2009)

Monologue: A Mail Carrier Realizes That a Family’s Netflix Movie Has Yet to Be Returned (1/5/2009)

Referee Ed Hochuli’s More Notable Calls. (11/19/2007)

List: Innovative Mischief-Night Pranks You Are More Than Welcome to Play on Me (10/31/2007)

The Neurotic Pickup Artist. (10/8/2007)

After Reading Some Of My Journal Entries, It’s Clear That I Need To Stop Watching Porn (4/4/2007)

Perhaps My Pickup Lines Need Work (3/9/2007)

Lowlights From My Failed Hidden Camera Show (2/20/2007)

Open Letters: An Open Letter to My Local Newspaper With Advice for When It Runs Its Next Two-Page Photo Spread on the Beautiful Colors of the Season (2/19/2007)

Regarding Those Internet Searches You Found And Then Confronted Me About In A Hostile Way? We’ll Be Laughing About The Huge Misunderstanding In This Week’s Counseling Session (1/12/2007)