A McSweeney’s Kickstarter Testimonial

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“It was May, 1999 or so, give or take a year, and I had hit the road, tired of working for the ‘man.’ I was thumbing rides, and hopping boxcars or ‘shuffling squaretops’ (hobo slang). I was a loner, didn’t want or need another’s company. I was tired, strung out. I’d been working 80-hour weeks writing copy for a hot new product called ‘the Internet.’ One night I was holed up in a tree outside of Phoenix and from my perch I could see a young punk fussing with a rusty bicycle outside of the public library. I yelled down, ‘Hey, man! Don’t ya got no sense?’ and he scattered like he’d heard a ghost. I got to thinking bout that library down there and fell asleep dreaming of the possibilities. In the morning I crawled over to the entrance like a baby on a trail of crumbs. A kind lady let me in early and I got the first seat in front of their brand new computer. I logged onto the devil himself, wondering if I’d regret it, but then to my surprise I found me a little site called ‘McSweeney’s.’ It was a gateway, man. Finally the devil had redeemed himself. It was as if Saint Peter had popped his head out and said, ‘Hey, ‘bo, life can be a breeze if you let it, ya know?’ I made an about face, and now I run a chain of carpet shops in the Midwest. All thanks to McSweeney’s. So please support their Kickstarter.”
— Ted Travelstead, actor, writer, longtime Tendency contributor, and 41st ranked carpet salesperson in the Midwest

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ARTICLES BY
John Moe

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Harper Lee’s Letters to Her Editor After the Publication of To Kill a Mockingbird (2/5/2015)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Concerning, Jon Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive (6/10/2014)

A Court-Ordered Letter from Dora the Explorer’s Mother (6/20/2011)

A Debrief from the National Floppy Clocks Corporation President (4/18/2011)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Note to Parents from Bruce Springsteen, High School Cross-Country Coach (11/9/2010)

An Interview with Dr. Cruelty Regarding the Supervillain Sense of Humor (10/23/2009)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Memo From the Head Nurse Regarding Proper Care of Patients Born Bad to the Bone (6/25/2009)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Letter to Prince Regarding the Crying of Doves and the Fiasco That Resulted From the Presentation of a Speech on That Topic (4/30/2008)

A Family Member of a Henchman Killed by Jack Bauer on 24 Remembers (1/22/2008)

Ripple Effects of the Writers’ Strike (11/15/2007)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: An Invitation to Joni Mitchell to Sing at the Opening of the Tree Museum (10/17/2007)

List: Ways I’ve Let Down Popular Musicians (8/22/2007)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Note Placed in the Pay Envelope of Billy “The Piano Man” Joel (5/16/2007)

Pros And Cons Of The Top 20 Republican Presidential Candidates (5/2/2007)

Pros And Cons Of The Top 20 Democratic Presidential Candidates (4/18/2007)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Regarding Pete Seeger’s Requests for a Hammer and His Descriptions of What He Would Do If He Had One (4/3/2007)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: To: Peter Criss; From: Beth (12/15/2006)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Letter to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band From Sgt. Pepper (8/31/2006)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Notes on “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” as Delivered to Axl Rose by His Editor (7/7/2006)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Retort To Carly Simon Regarding Her Charges Of Vanity (2/13/2006)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Letter to Elton John From the Office of the NASA Administrator (12/9/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Letter From “The Power” to Public Enemy (9/2/2005)

Thirty-Nine Questions for Charlie Daniels Upon Hearing “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” for the First Time in 25 Years (8/16/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Attention, Mr. Axl Rose: We Did Not Feel Welcome in the Jungle (6/8/2005)

How the 2005 Miami Heat Have Fared Against Quality Teams (5/27/2005)

Art Garfunkel: Television Guest Star (4/14/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Marvin Gaye Explains What He Heard Through the Grapevine (3/28/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Memo Distributed Among the “Project Loverboy” Staff, Regarding “Turn Me Loose.” (2/16/2005)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Letter Between Siblings Who Lived in the House Described in “Our House” by Madness (2/3/2005)

I Was Not Invited Back to That School (1/4/2005)

List: Now Playing at the Zombietown 12-Screen Cineplex (12/14/2004)

The Riddler Makes an Announcement (11/10/2004)

I’m Afraid the Children Are Our Future (10/26/2004)

Excerpts From Dagwood Bumstead’s Intervention (10/21/2004)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Letter to Elvis Presley From His Hound Dog (8/30/2004)

Winnie-the-Pooh Is My Co-worker (8/11/2004)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: A Memo to the Sultans of Swing, From Their Booking Agent (7/20/2004)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Letters to Fogerty (6/23/2004)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: James Taylor Issues an Update on “The Friendship Ring.” (6/10/2004)

Pros and Cons of John Kerry’s Top 20 Vice-Presidential Candidates (5/26/2004)

John Moe’s Pop Song Correspondences: Changes to the Hotel California, Made in Response to Mr. Henley’s Recent Complaint (5/11/2004)

A Midyear Update from Miss Othmar (1/23/2004)

List: What I Found in My Two-Year-Old Son’s Playroom (2/11/2003)

List: Actual Brands of the Coca-Cola Company (7/1/2002)

List: Music Industry Trends Not Yet Overexposed (5/27/2002)

List: As a Porn Movie Titler, I May Lack Promise (2/5/2002)

First Panels Of Beetle Bailey Comics Which, Taken Out Of Context Of The Remaining Panels, Provide A More Realistic Portrayal Of Life At Camp Swampy. (6/14/2001)

List: Cancelled Regional Morning TV Shows (5/12/2001)

List: Real and Imagined Things My 3-Month-Old Son Charlie Has Said (4/5/2001)

List: Cause and Effect Rules for Sidewalk Travel (1/22/2001)

List: What Alex Rodriguez Can and Cannot Buy With $252 Million (12/15/2000)

List: Recently Discovered Voting Irregularities in Florida (11/13/2000)

List: Terrible Names for Hair Salons (10/10/2000)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by donating to our Kickstarter campaign.