The Dog-Walker Whisperer (2/13/2013)

Despite Tonight’s Ruling I Will Not Stop Making Love to My Wife Against Our Town Statue (9/7/2012)

Nodding Posse (7/25/2012)

The Puppet Brothel (6/5/2012)

Monologue: My Wife Critiques My Plan to Quit My Job and Write the Next Horror Franchise (2/13/2012)

Clucky’s Fried Chickinjections Food Truck (5/9/2011)

Come Join Our Prayer Group-Slash-Cheese Tasting-Slash-Orgy (9/22/2010)

Cinderella Story Miscues (3/26/2010)

Macy’s Balloon Task Force Holds Post Parade Press Conference (11/24/2009)

Excerpts From Induction Speeches Into the Taxidermy Hall of Fame (8/11/2009)

Marvel Comics Backs Out of My Publishing Contract (3/13/2009)

Q&A With the Head of My Carpool (11/11/2008)

The Economic Crisis Hits the Markson Family Monopoly Board (10/14/2008)

Field Notes on the Arctic Tern (7/16/2008)

Observational Notes for the Veterinarian Regarding My Dog Hank (3/3/2008)

What Happened After I Lost My Guardian Angel: A Timeline (10/23/2007)

E Mail Chain Re: The Vernon Wilkes Explosion (6/29/2007)