A McSweeney’s Kickstarter Testimonial

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“It was May, 1999 or so, give or take a year, and I had hit the road, tired of working for the ‘man.’ I was thumbing rides, and hopping boxcars or ‘shuffling squaretops’ (hobo slang). I was a loner, didn’t want or need another’s company. I was tired, strung out. I’d been working 80-hour weeks writing copy for a hot new product called ‘the Internet.’ One night I was holed up in a tree outside of Phoenix and from my perch I could see a young punk fussing with a rusty bicycle outside of the public library. I yelled down, ‘Hey, man! Don’t ya got no sense?’ and he scattered like he’d heard a ghost. I got to thinking bout that library down there and fell asleep dreaming of the possibilities. In the morning I crawled over to the entrance like a baby on a trail of crumbs. A kind lady let me in early and I got the first seat in front of their brand new computer. I logged onto the devil himself, wondering if I’d regret it, but then to my surprise I found me a little site called ‘McSweeney’s.’ It was a gateway, man. Finally the devil had redeemed himself. It was as if Saint Peter had popped his head out and said, ‘Hey, ‘bo, life can be a breeze if you let it, ya know?’ I made an about face, and now I run a chain of carpet shops in the Midwest. All thanks to McSweeney’s. So please support their Kickstarter.”
— Ted Travelstead, actor, writer, longtime Tendency contributor, and 41st ranked carpet salesperson in the Midwest

Visit our Kickstarter page to pledge your support.

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ARTICLES BY
Stef Willen

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Lukewarm Girl-On-Girl Action (8/4/2014)

MapQuest Directions to Hipsterville (4/12/2013)

List: News Headlines From My Apartment (4/5/2012)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 19: I’m Here (9/21/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 18: Nobody Cares About Chickens (8/31/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 17: Wonderfully Ordinary (8/16/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 16: Living Facility (7/21/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 15: Inferno 6 (6/27/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 14: Bring It On, House Fire, Part Two (6/9/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 13: Bring It On, House Fire, Part One (5/20/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 12: In Steve’s Truck Again (5/4/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 11: One In a Billion (4/14/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 10: Laugh, Love, Smile (3/29/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 9: The Balloon Bottom Epoch (3/9/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 8: Paranormal Activity (2/17/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 7: Collapsible Throne (1/28/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 6: Disaster Happens (Hopefully Someplace Cool I’ve Never Been To) (1/12/2011)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 5: I Left My Rolex Next to My Vat of Cheez Whiz (12/14/2010)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 4: The Right to Bare Arms and Pretty Much Everything Else (11/23/2010)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 3: I Think I Found Your Cat (11/5/2010)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 2: All In a Day’s Tragedy (10/20/2010)

Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies: Column 1: I Have a Sneaking Suspicion You Burnt Your Own House Down, Or Maybe You Just Give Me the Creeps (10/4/2010)

Open Letters: An Open Letter To The Inanimate Objects In My Apartment That Just Sat There While I Was Heartbroken (12/18/2009)

List: Signs This Film is Not Your Big Break (7/31/2009)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by donating to our Kickstarter campaign.