About Comedy by the Numbers. - - - - To buy Comedy by the Numbers, click here. - - - - The Comedy by the Numbers Numbers An Excerpt From Comedy by the Numbers - - - - Comedy is hard. Creativity is even harder—and a waste of time, we say. Anything worth learning can be learned via simple formulas and the memorization of data. Thus, we are proud to present Comedy by the Numbers, a vital new manual by Eric Hoffman and Gary Rudoren. This biblette makes the secrets of comedy accessible to those who might not have the ability or talent to be funny. Hey, maybe that's you! All the wisdom within is numbered and alphabetized for easy reference. One no longer need worry about originality—just find the right comedy number and apply as needed to your situation. Before you know it, you'll be on your way from dud to dude. - - - - Praise. - - - - "Finally—a book that reduces comedy to a mechanical formula." —Simpsons writer George Meyer "I don't read, but I was still able to enjoy this book's smell and general 'feel,' as well as aesthetically." —Sarah Silverman "For the amateur comic, Comedy by the Numbers is an excellent primer in the use of irony, wigs, and 'pretending that a microphone is a penis.' For the professional comic, it also holds valuable lessons, such as 'Avoid therapy' and 'Have a theme song.' I heartily enjoyed it. Comedy by the Numbers had me laughing more than any book I've skimmed in years. Skim it yourself, and you'll be delighted." —Thomas Lennon (of Reno 911!) "This book is required reading for anyone who wants to get laughed at. Whatever your bookstore charges for it, offer them double. It's worth it. Then tip the clerk another $5." —David Wain (of Stella, Wet Hot American Summer, and The Ten) - - - - Reviews. - - - - Time Out Chicago "Insert Joke Here: A New Volume From Two Annoyance Alums Makes Comedy as Easy as 1, 45, 169" By Steve Heisler Issue: May 31–June 6, 2007 For eight years, Gary Rudoren and Eric Hoffman meticulously fine-tuned their Annoyance Theatre shows so they'd appear haphazardly constructed at the last second. Their new McSweeney's volume, Comedy by the Numbers ($14), shares a similar vibe. It's ridiculously comprehensive, breaking down the art of comedy into 169 unique, nonlinear categories—things like No. 1 (animals doing things humans do) and No. 157 (two or more people trying to get through a door at the same time). Each chapter is packed with laugh-out-loud lines and "helpful" illustrations (the right and wrong way to slip on a banana peel). Some of the sections are short—No. 137 (the delayed reaction) is composed solely of the sentence: "Jack Benny spent all of 1948 responding to everything that happened to him in 1947."—but most are given space to explore these bits in action. For a book that seems slapped together, it fastidiously details the subtleties of comedy. "Not to sound misogynistic," Rudoren says, "but it's much like women who spend two hours putting on makeup to get 'the natural look.' We spent a long time going over intricate comedy details to produce a book that comes off as an enthusiastic conversation about the virtues and secrets to being funny—as if we just showed up at your house pitching the word of the Lord. 'Have you accepted Comedy into your life?'" The Chicago-trained comedy writers conceived of the idea while spreading a little gospel of their own. After a successful run of the Annoyance sketch Idiotic Death of Two Fools, they were accepted into Scotland's Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 1997—where thousands of groups were slated to perform. Actors constantly jockeyed for attention by handing out show postcards, but rather than go that stale route, Rudoren and Hoffman created a six-page pamphlet that later became the book's model—102 comedy numbers with short explanations, many of which made it into the book. With the fest over and the book all but forgotten, Hoffman moved to L.A. to write and act on Mr. Show. He spent the next few years taking small film and TV roles (including some flick called Nerd Hunter 3004), while Rudoren continued to direct and teach in Chicago. The two crossed paths again in 2004 when Naomi Odenkirk (yes, Bob's wife) was fishing for book topics after authoring Mr. Show: What Happened?! Hoffman dug up an early copy of the pamphlet, and both Odenkirks encouraged the writing pair to add pages. Out of the blue, Bob called McSweeney's founder Dave Eggers last May, and the pace of progress quickened. "Eggers said, 'Whatever you guys have, throw it in there. I want this thing to be big,'" Hoffman recalls. "That freed us up, allowing us to go off on all sorts of little tangents." While at first glance the all-inclusive tome is ostensibly one big joke, the material within is riddled with legit, usable comedy tips. For example, Nos. 149 (the rule of three) and 116 (sarcasm) are well-known comedic staples, and the entries for No. 133 (the beat) and No. 142 (the pause) insightfully explain the differences between the two. "We're up-front about listing devices such as dwarves, pee-pee jokes, double takes, etc., which are very real parts of comedy—but in bad, hackneyed comedies," Rudoren explains. "Part of our thing is: How do we wryly comment on the notion that anybody can be funny just by reading? In the end, [comedy] is actually almost impossible to teach. A good laugh is like a good obscenity—it's hard to define exactly what makes you laugh, but you know it when you feel it." Comedy by the Numbers isn't shy about the humor topics it tackles, including delicate subjects like Nos. 57 (humor funny to gays), 113 (retards/mentally challenged) and 66 (killing a lot of people). "We can only hope for outrage and widespread picketing," Rudoren jokes. (That's some nice No. 116.) But such is the case with his and Hoffman's book, which shares a bold approach to comedy with the Annoyance: The theater's no-holds-barred philosophy sometimes offends, but its irreverent, absurdist voice aims to demystify comedy. "A lot of people think the Annoyance is about outrageousness for outrageousness's sake," Rudoren says, "but I think what Mick [Napier, founder] advocates is a lot smarter than just that." Comedy by the Numbers is out now. - - - - Flak Magazine By James Norton July 12, 2007 When you hang out with someone who's in the business of being funny, you soon understand that this is an extraordinarily mixed blessing. On one hand, they often say very funny things. On the other hand, rather than laugh at funny things said by other people, the professional comedian is much more prone to say: "that was funny." Even worse and perhaps more typically, he or she might even say: "that was quite funny because of X, but if Y had been just a little bit more Z, it would've killed." Now with the debut of Comedy By the Numbers, we can all enjoy both the prickly irritation and gut-busting guffaws of hanging out with funny people as they talk shop. A comedy manual disguised as a parody disguised as a comedy manual, Comedy By the Numbers presents 169 rules of comedy, richly larded with examples and amusing clip art. It breaks things down with admirable mock clarity. The case studies look a little something like this: 9 Boogers and Boners 10 Bravado / Snobbery 12 British Humour 19 Contact with Something That Isn't Dry 20 Contact with Something That Is Very Hot 22 "Cringe" Comedy 36 Dwarfs, Midgets and the Like 71 Mickey Rooney 113 Retards / Mentally Challenged And so on. Written in the voice of a modestly successful idiot comedian informing aspiring idiot comedians, the book spends equal time getting in sly digs and firing off over-the-top Neil Hamburger-style anti-comedy. For example, an entry on "Anger Faces": YOU CAN EASILY WORK ON THIS IN FRONT OF YOUR HOME MIRROR Begin by lowering your eyebrows. Now try one eyebrow down and one up. Now narrow your eyes—squint, even. Frown a little. Bare your teeth. Shake your head slightly. Now shake your head a lot. Throw in a "grrr!" noise. There are endless variations! SITUATIONS WHERE YOU CAN PRACTICE YOUR "ANGER FACE" * When someone pees too close to you at the trough in the ballpark men's room. * After an old lady in front of you has 13 items in the 12 item express line. * After a drug deal goes poorly for you. * When your doctor tells you that you have ball cancer. * After you get really raped. * After your wife scratches your new car with the metal studs sewn onto her jeans. To assess each list item in order: Tame, really tame, implausible therefore funny, kind of tragic and therefore inappropriately jocular, outrageously and seriously out of line, tame. A lot of careful thought went into that list in order to impersonate a kind of thinking about comedy that is not merely sloppy, but is actively deranged. Quite a lot of the rest of the book proceeds along these lines. The nesting doll of perspectives that inform most of the entries means that the book's a hodgepodge, both in terms of approach and results, but its impressive breadth and dogged willingness to take comedic risks means that the total number of laughs-per-book is pretty damned solid. And there's certainly a case to be made that the book actually imparts some fairly insightful lessons on the relationship between craft and comedy. Sometimes, yes: It's funny to watch fat people exercise. Keeping your pinky up while drinking tea is entertaining. Stepping on a rake so that the handle hits your face is essential physical comedy. Old people are funny doing both old people things (bitching and complaining) and young people things (breakdancing, having an erection). The best comedians out there utilize tried-and-true comic situations and methods (which are admirably and explicitly sent up and documented in Comedy By the Numbers) in combination with brilliant shifts of context and satirical elements (demonstrated by the book's subtext and backhanded wit). Produced and supported by some ill-defined McSweeney's/Bob Odenkirk/Dave Eggers consortium and written by folks connected to Mr. Show and Annoyance Theater, Comedy By the Numbers has many of the delightful surprises and killer lines that one would expect from such a convergence of talent and/or snark. And if you read it carefully enough, you might just learn something. - - - - Interviews. - - - - Zulkey.com "The Gary Rudoren and Eric Hoffman Interviews: Somewhere Under Twenty Questions" By Claire Zulkey July 5, 2007 Today I chat with the authors of a very funny and useful book called Comedy by the Numbers: The 169 Secrets of Humor and Popularity, which features input by Bob Odenkirk and is published by McSweeney's (although I am linking to the Amazon page because if you buy it from here I get a 2 cent kickback or something like that. I think all told I've made about $1.50 with this program so far.) These two guys, who both came up on the fabled comedy stages of Chicago, know their stuff, ha-ha wise, and were kind enough to share their insights with me today. How did Comedy By the Numbers come to be made? ERIC: Hi Claire, welcome to Gary's answer. GARY: Well, I'll try to keep it brief, but basically we got lucky. It all started with an Annoyance show that we created with Mike Monterastelli ( I directed Eric & Mike). Eric and I made up a 6-page mini-CBTN pamphlet to promote the show (called "The Idiotic Death of Two Fools") at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. A few years later, through Eric's connection as a writer on Mr. Show, he showed the wordy pamphlet to Naomi Odenkirk who enthusiastically supported us moving forward into making it a book. She wanted to be involved editing and publishing it. Bob Odenkirk also got involved—again as a sounding board and supporter ... they got Dave Eggers and McSweeney's on board and then it took about a year, but now here we are. I assume you didn't mean "how was it actually made?" because that's complicated. And involves machines and stuff. What's it like working with McSweeney's? I see that the jokes begin on the copyright page (actually, even before that.) I've always wondered, when that happens, is it the authors' idea or the publishers come to you with "Hey, we have a funny idea ..." GARY: We saw this whole thing as a conversation with the reader. So our style, right from the git go was to deconstruct the elements of the book—if a page was blank we thought it would be fun to just say "we know this page is blank"—apparently you need to have some blank pages in books. McSweeneys was very receptive and it definitely fit in with their style. They were great to work with—respectful of our comedy, but through the process they also (rightfully) called us out on stuff that wasn't working. ERIC: I think it's just a blessed union between a bunch of people who like making jokes on the copyright page. If you were to condense the book down to its most helpful tips, which would be some of them? GARY: This is like Sophie's Choice! The book is overflowing with tips on how to be funny—and then by association popular. Who doesn't want to be at least one of those things? Alright, here's one: it's important to read #63—Jews And Their Idiosyncracies where you'll learn that, for comedic purposes, all Jews everywhere are exactly like Woody Allen. ERIC: There's so many. Off the top of my head, if our book does nothing else, it alerts people to the existence of Edgar Kennedy, the King of the Slow Burn (#153). Best known for hassling Harpo in the movie "Duck Soup." So tell us about the last name. How did Maureen Dowd come to write about it? GARY: I assume you mean me. ERIC: The world deserves to know Gary. GARY: Well, about a year after we got married, my wife and I decided to do this weird thing where we melded parts of both of our names into a single family name. An odd, but egalitarian approach. My wife's a journalist, so she had a byline, I had kind of a name too with my theater and architecture work—it was a big move for both us, but we've embraced it. In January 2006, Gary Ruderman and Jodi Wilgoren became Gary & Jodi Rudoren. We had a generally positive reaction from most people and started getting e-mails from people who were thinking about it. Jodi is a writer for the NY Times (she's now an editor on the Metro desk, which is why we moved to NY in September) and she covered the 2004 election, following Dean until he imploded and then with Kerry til the election. She got to know Maureen a bit then. Not too long after we did it, Maureen was writing a column about the topic of name changes for some reason (it was mostly about a guy who changed his first name to Rachel to match his wife's I believe) and mentioned us and Mayor Villaraigosa of LA. Well, Maureen is famous, right, so her column got picked up all around the world. There are google searches where we show up in Chinese newspapers. At the time of the name change there was another writer in Chicago named Gary Ruderman. Afterwards I sent him an e-mail that said; "You win." What do you miss most about Chicago? ERIC: The celery salt on the hot dogs. It's unbelievable how much I miss it. GARY: I'm lucky in that in NY they sell hot dogs every eight feet, so I've been able to adapt. Chicago is a great city. I originally came for a summer in 1987 and stayed 19 years. I miss a lot of friends, but I've kept in touch with many people. I'm originally from New York, and I'm a Jew, so the transition here hasn't been traumatic (clarification: that's because NY is lousy with Jews). Do you think there is a Chicago brand of humor or it's more of just a stopping point for many comic-types? GARY: I don't think you can simply label it, but because Chicago is so branded with improvisation and comic experimentation, Chicago is a great place to learn to be funny and survive the inevitable failures you need to learn from. It's pretty much a no bullshit city. And its the wellspring for so much comedy that's being done on the other coasts—so many people from Second City, I.O. and the Annoyance have moved out to NY and LA and established careers. The UCB, which started in Chicago, and now has theaters in NY and LA, has contributed mightily to the new generations of comedians. Did you have any mixed feelings about leaving for New York? GARY: I did ... I do ... but really I just feel lucky. I'm proud of careers I had established in Chicago, both in the theater and in architecture, so I've always felt lucky that I found several passions I was able to pursue. The move definitely helped propel finishing the book and other opportunities have opened up here. I'd love to go back some time and direct at The Annoyance or shoot a film in Chicago. Who knows? That's the fun part, not really knowing exactly what's going to happen next (hey, that's like improvisation!) You taught writing at the Annoyance Theater. I took writing at Second City and while I don't want to make any assumptions I think I did okay but there were some people who I studied with who just didn't seem to have 'it.' How would you tell students that they had a good work ethic but just didn't have the knack for comedy writing, or you wouldn't? GARY: Possibly the toughest part of teaching is giving criticism. But it's essential. But I try to be encouraging and honest. I firmly believe that the classroom can be the safest place in the world and I encourage students to let loose. Challenge them to find a unique voice in their writing. Not everyone in a class starts at the same level and being able to express their thoughts sometimes comes more naturally to some than others. I focus my writing class on character development and not about writing jokes. So maybe that takes some of the pressure off. Basically what I'm saying is; "yes, I will tell people they suck, of course." Do most performers who do stage comedy have one goal they tend to share in common, like be on "Saturday Night Live" or get a sitcom, or is it pretty varied? ERIC: I have no idea what those crazy people talk about. No, those are probably the Big Two for most comedy folk. And movies. But people definitely want it "all" these days. A TV show, books, films AND movies, a hit record, etc. Steve Martin has done all of that and more. He really set the standard for comedians, in so many ways. That's why we've included "How To Be Steve Martin" in our book. It's the first ever step-by-step breakdown of a career that will last a lifetime, AND how YOU can do it, too! It's shockingly easy. GARY: I think every group has its share of sitting around wishing to get to the next level. "If only I could throw out the MAYOR'S garbage, that would be the best!" How does one come to the conclusion that they'd be good at/enjoy directing? GARY: It's tough. I think if you have a measure of success early on that helps. It also helps to be a megalomaniac. I'll relate it back to improv. As an improvisor, you are on stage—acting, writing, directing—this multi-tasking aspect is what I was attracted to. I learned a lot about directing through an improvisational development process from Mick Napier. Then I realized it could be a great way to tell stories that I thought were interesting and fun. ERIC: Many times it's just a matter of having material that you're so in love with that you believe anyone else but you would fuck it up. What's the most difficult part of creating a one-man show? ERIC: Keeping it a one man show. When I was putting together my one man show ("The Story of the 3 Jaw Crusher") with Matt Walsh (the director), we quickly decided to make it "a one man show with 8 people." For me, interacting with other actors is tons easier than interacting with an audience. Also, keeping the show to a half hour length can be tricky for some. A half hour is the preferred length for almost any live performance. Leave 'em wanting more, eh, Gary? GARY: I'll tell you the easiest thing—scheduling rehearsals. No big casts to coordinate. I created "So, I Killed A Few People" with the actor, David Summers, mostly in his basement apartment living room sitting in an easy chair. Over the years, I've tended to direct smaller scale shows with unique performers like David, Jim Carrane, Andy Eninger, Mark Sutton and others because I liked delving deeper into characters with them. It's difficult to create a full story with one character—beginning, middle, end—without just making it a bunch of bits. It's a great challenge though. And I'm only half-joking about the rehearsal thing—I had a pretty full schedule, so I didn't have a lot of open slots. The toughest part is actually just getting past the basically arrogant assumption that people would want to listen to one-person talk at them for 50 minutes. What's the vibe like at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival? Camaraderie or is it more stressed out and competitive? GARY: I've been there twice with two different shows and enjoyed it both times—the stress part is fun because there are just SO many shows, you're really just trying to herd Scottish cats and carve out your little niche. But it's a blast. The whole town goes nuts for all the festivals in August. No one goes to the Fringe to get rich, so you hope you're just making back your airfare and postcard printing fund. I tried to see as many other shows as I could and met a whole bunch of people who loved theater and were just there to experiment. Do you have any tips for those working in the humor genre who are new to collaborating? ERIC: Never write a screenplay with three people (3 writers in total). Not your first script, anyway. It's a good learning experience, but your script just may turn out to be a piece of shit-junk. Even if the three have complimentary senses of humor, there's still enough of a difference to make the script sound like it was written by three separate people. Obviously you don't want that. Two people is manageable. A more positive tip: You don't have to do everything. I think the key to good collaboration is figuring out early what each others' strengths are. And then letting that person go and do what they do best, leaving you free to do what you do best. Jay Johnston (Sarah Silverman Program, Mr. Show) and I have worked on several scripts together. When we're writing something out, Jay is great at coming up with stuff off the top of his head. While I do my best when I'm at home staring at the computer screen. GARY: I was going to say "pick collaborators you don't hate", but Eric's answer is really good. What's one of the most recent things that made you laugh? ERIC: The Garth Marenghi show. The Derek & Simon show. Sarah Silverman's show. The Morel Orel show. The Tim & Eric show. Basically, if you've got a show, I'm laughing. And Snuff Box, a great show with our buddy Rich Fulcher. Also the upcoming movie "The Brothers Solomon." GARY: All of the above, good job Eric. I'm a big fan of The Office and 30 Rock too. Recently, I've been lucky that TJ & Dave, (Jagodowski & Pasquesi) who are two great improvisers, have been doing their show in NY the first weekend of every month, so I've gone out to see them a few times—they're incredible. Name something that's considered a part of the humor canon (literary, film, stage, what have you) that you think is actually not that funny at all. GARY: I've never met anyone that's ever watched "Two and a half Men"—the No. 1 rated sitcom. How does it feel to be the 185th and 186th people interviewed for Zulkey.com? ERIC: Zulkey-riffic. GARY: Top this stuff, #187! - - - - TheComing.com "Interrogation: Prof. Eric Hoffman & Dr. Gary Rudoren" May 4, 2007 Comedy By The Numbers is the world's first scientific manual explaining how to be funny. (At least we think it's the first, we're kind of lax when it comes to "research" around these parts.) Published by McSweeney's, it promises to make "the secrets of comedy accessible, not only to those funny few among us, but also to those who might not have the ability or talent to be funny", and boy, does it deliver. We read it the other night, and already feel six times funnier. You can purchase the book, which we highly recommend, by following this simple-to-click hyperlink. The authors, Prof. Eric Hoffman & Dr. Gary Rudoren, were good enough to field some of our questions. How did you two come up with this book? What was the writing process? Eric Hoffman: As I remember it, the number idea came out of a bit that myself, Gary, Matt Walsh, and others used to do at the Annoyance Theatre in Chicago. In rehearsals for a show, if someone did what is considered a classic piece of comedy shtick, like extended vomiting or a crazy wig, we would say things like "oh, a number 14—classic!" It was sarcastic, but there was also a respect for the old bits. Then we'd make up the 'rules' of a number 14, dictionary style. And we used to laugh at that quite a lot. The beer helped. I think everyone in comedy has done the number bit at least once. Gary Rudoren: Eric and I collaborated on a show I directed called "The Idiotic Death of Two Fools" at The Annoyance. (It featured a 12-minute fight scene between Eric and Mike Monterastelli set to the tune of 80s one-hit wonders. One guy dies when a caulk gun gets shoved up his nose, while the other has his windpipe punctured by a staple gun. Oops, we just gave away the big ending.) We developed the script through improvisation and all of us writing. We really started screwing around with the numbers then. Then we started to keep a list. In a notebook. The original notebook is somewhere, I think. Unless we smoked it! (#34, Druggie Humor) Eric: The book also comes out of listening to teachers or old comedians or ourselves talk about the rules of comedy. You know, "k" is funny. Comedy comes in threes. Comedians shouldn't attempt serious rock opera. There's a million of em. Most of that stuff doesn't work because comedy is surprise. Isn't it? (Secretly, I believe comedy comes in twos.) And of course there's books like Steve Allen's "How To Be Funny," which my grandmother gave me when I was in high school. I guess she saw that my material at the time was too derivative of Python and Dan Aykroyd. I needed a little Allen influence to make things right. So Gary and I were working on "Two Fools" and he had the brilliant idea to turn the comedy number bit into a little manual, as a promotional item for the show, which we were taking to the Edinburgh Fringe. We printed them up and handed them out to the Scottish locals, who knew exactly what to do with them: Throw them to the ground. Flash forward to a couple of years ago. We were recording the Mr. Show fourth season commentary and Naomi Odenkirk mentioned she was looking for book ideas, having come off the success of the Mr. Show book. I gave her one of the 500 booklets I had left and she and Bob really liked it. They were very supportive and wanted to see it printed. They just wanted it out there. And when Bob and Naomi get behind something, good things happen. Gary and I shook hands, forcefully, and moved on it. Gary: They were great in encouraging us to do more and more. We had put together a mock-up with this great graphic that Eric did—a comedic icon we called "Webster" (more after the dictionary than the revered sitcom). In the mock-up we started fleshing out the bits. Our goal was to create a funny book about being funny and to satirize the "how to be funny" books—the ones that boil comedy down to simple "diary exercises" and obvious "hints" like; "read the newspapers for observations about the news." Am I babbling Eric? Eric: Yes ... again. The original pamphlet had about a hundred numbers. But a lot of it was one-liners and many numbers didn't have any text at all. So we had a bunch of writing to do. And Dave Eggers wanted us to pack it full. Just put everything we had into the book. I think 95% of what we wrote made it in. We weren't afraid to shoe-horn some pieces in. One of our influences was the Python books. They're absolutely jam-packed with material. And the Mr. Show book, too. Everywhere you look there's something cool or funny. But we couldn't go hog wild. We had to maintain that technical manual feel. The stuff that was cut will probably end up on the website or our Myspace blog. Gary: As for the writing process, in this day and age, comedy is definitely aided by technology. By the way, in the book we should have thanked whoever really did come up with that internet thing. Eric and I would exchange pages back and forth—talking through ideas on the phone as well. The logistics were a little tougher than usual I guess—Eric is in LA, I lived in Chicago, (and I'm now in NY), but I flew out to LA a few times where we hunkered down and went through things page by page. We talked a lot. Eric: It was great. Gary and I hadn't worked together since "The Idiotic Death of Two Fools". It was like easing into an old, comfortable pair of mittens. And it was nice to see we hadn't lost our fondness for cuss words and general bawdiness. The book also gave us permission to write some very dumb jokes, which is always fun. When we started writing, our styles were complimentary but different. About halfway through the process, I noticed we were kind of writing in the other guy's style at times, which is classic collaboration stuff. In the end, Bob said you couldn't tell who wrote what, which was very cool to hear. Especially for me, 'cause Gary wrote some truly inspired pieces. Honestly, who's idea was it? Eric: Steve Allen's. Gary: Okay, seriously, it was Jesus'. That guy gets credit for EVERYTHING. How did you get involved with McSweeney's? Gary: We had a good head start on the book with both the pamphlet and then a mock-up. That got us to Naomi and Bob who became our sounding boards, informal editors and general cheerleaders. So much so that Bob contacted Dave Eggers out of the blue to pitch it as a McSweeney's book. We sent Dave about 20 pages or so and then fortuitously (that's one of those big words that show we're published authors now) Dave was going to be in LA and met with Eric, Bob and Naomi. Dave was very enthusiastic and encouraging and then we had, what I think lawyers call, a verbal handshake deal—we just started writing like hell after that. Eric: Embarrasingly enough, I had never heard of McSweeney's. Bob showed me some of their books and I was blown away. Very funny and very cool looking. I'm a total McSweeney's-head now. I didn't know Dave, but Bob assured me he was "the shit." Having since read "A Heartbreaking Work" I now know this to be true. Gary: Our editor Eli Horowitz at McSweeney's is also "the shit." He would want us to say that about him. Actually all of McSweeney's is "shitty" ... in a good way. At what age do you recommend giving this book to your kids so that they'll be cool in school? Gary: At whatever age kids are when they actually go to school and need to be cool. We don't have kids, so we're not that sure. You'll notice there's no Commie warning label on the book—"For kids 8-80!" or something like that. This is America! We're not "ageists!" If the little kids like the funny pics, then let them chew on the book. There are worse things for a toddler to do than rub our book on his/her private places. Also, the book has holes punched into it and it will fit into any other subject's 3-ring binder, so kids can hide it from their teachers while they're in class. Eric: Yeah, if kids like video games they'll definitely like this book. I've heard it's like Halo with pages. What current comedian can be helped most by reading your book? Eric: Everyone could use a little brush up. When's the last time Carrot Top looked over the basics of a "Can't Get To Sleep" routine? And Jon Stewart could probably use a refresher in "Rubber Limb" bits. Gary: Right. Different numbers for different folks. Michael Richards might want to study #110 Racial Humor. Mel Gibson, who used to be funny, could absolutely benefit from a full review of #63—Jews & Their Idiosyncracies. The one thing we know is that there's really no helping Charlie Sheen. How will ordinary non-comedian folks be helped by it? Gary: Our studies (based on informal chats at bars with friends) show that some people are funny; some people are not funny, but think they are; and still others are not funny, but would like to be. We think this last category is MOST people. So we figured, why not give them a wealth of comedy knowledge to throw out at parties to impress the ladies? Or show them hilarious examples of office situations to inspire them to become popular around the water cooler? The best way for regular folks to be helped by the book would be to buy two at full price—one for them and one to give it out as a "I-saw-this-and-thought-of-you" friend gift. Eric: You can't really say you've lived until you've done a "mirror routine" with someone. And everyone should experience the feeling you get while performing pathos, at least once in your life. You feel like a god. It seems that you copyrighted a lot of phrases included in the book. How long did that take? Gary: It took exactly no time. We're currently waiting to be sued by the likes of Nathan Lane© (who we LOVE by the way) and Norm Crosby© (still alive!) Eric: We're always copyrighting stuff. Vacations. Winks. In our next book the page numbers will all be copyrighted. We're taking no chances. Wow, I think I'm in "copyright-joke heaven!" One of you is a Professor, the other is a Doctor. Who's smarter? Eric: We actually had quite a few discussions about who was going to be the doctor. We both wanted it bad. For a while there I was pushing to have the title alternate between us throughout the book. That was shot down for being "needlessly confusing", to put it in book terms. And I think it was always Gary's dream to tell his mom he was a doctor. Hey, if you don't have dreams, you have nightmares. Gary: Why do you seek to divide us? The titles are mere self-honorariums to trick buyers into thinking we're humor authorities, which we are, but, sans titles. Yes, my mother always wanted me to be a doctor. (Yes, I'm a Jewish cliche.) So far this phony title stuff seems to be working for Dr. William Cosby. You sent shockwaves through the comedy community when you announced that Mr. Show superstar Bob Odenkirk would write the foreword. How many extra copies do you figure will be directly the result of his cameo? Gary: Besides being incredibly supportive throughout the process, Bob has graciously written a little introduction to the promotional booklet, or book-lette as it were, that is part of the McSweeney's Quarterly Concern out in April. This is a 32-page "trial size" edition of the book as a teaser. Bob also allowed us to incorporate that funny piece into the book, uncredited, but it's not really a forward. We decided that CBTN would not be the kind of book that is plastered with a lot of high profile comedy names—that would be "un-manual"-like in our opinion. We've been fortunate though to have a lot of people (some of them the kind of people that other people have heard of) in the comedy community read it and laugh. Although they might have been high, we don't know for sure. Bob has promised to buy a book, but we're just going to give him one for free. He's great. How does your book stack up against such classic discussions of the craft as Truth in Comedy by Del Close & Charna Halpern and The Comic Toolbox by John Vorhaus? Gary: We think it will be thicker than both of those books and we're extremely proud of that. First of all, we've got much funnier graphics (thank you Prof. Hoffman) and a much hipper font. In comedy books we've learned, the font is EVERYTHING. Who's going to learn from a book with an unattractive font? First thing we learned. Second, we have organized our book into a LIST ... easy to read, easy to follow and we've selectively boldfaced and underlined words for emphasis. Maybe that sounds obvious as a way to get people to learn about comedy, but that shit is important—it's almost like those other books never read about books. We have nothing against those folks—look, we actually have learned a lot from Charna, Del and the IO—but we think there' s still some more room on the shelf for a funny book about funny. Eric: I haven't read these books, but I assume if they're as serious about comedy as we are, they talk a lot about wigs, funny jackets, fart noises, and pantomime. The few "how to be funny" books that I've seen haven't dealt with that stuff, probably because it's considered "low" or outdated. I mean, fart noises aren't going away. If done correctly, they will be making us laugh until the end of all times. The spit take, too. Of course there's highbrow stuff in the book as well—the "non sequitur", anyone?—but any true examination of comedy must include both styles: high and low comedy. Am I right? High ten! Do you have a comedic formula in your gathered knowledge to make this blog more humorous and popular? Gary: Yes and ... see we're stealing from Charna already! Actually, most comedy is about embarrassment, so the more embarrassing personal information you can put on the blog, the funnier it will be for everyone else. We recommend that you subjugate (another big word, huh?) yourself to the masses—let them know about that night you couldn't make it home on time from an after-show run for bad Mexican and shit yourself in the car. Let the public know about the time you did a whole set with one ball hanging out of your skirt. Don't be afraid to 'fess up about the images you use to pleasure yourself. We could go on, but we've got an appointment of some kind. Bottom line: tell us more about yourself than you tell your therapist and we'll laugh, laugh, laugh. At you. Win/win we say. Eric: Obviously more sexual content would help with the popularity. When are comedians going to finally make the leap into porn? I know a lot of folks who would pay to watch Brian Posehn "get sexual" for a webcam. Let's face it, comedy makes people horny horny horny. - - - - LosAnjealous.com "'Farts and Dwarfs—Does That Answer Your Question?': A Q&A With the Authors of Comedy by the Numbers" By Victor Set to take it's rightful spot on your bookshelf, next to your Strunk & Whites and Funk & Wagnalls's, comes the indispensable new reference guide to be penned by two authors, Hoffman & Rudoren's COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS©. Published by McSweeney's, this book catalogs almost 170 universal archetypes of Comedy. Each numbered entry includes examples, often illustrated, demonstrating appropriate usage so that you may check your own comedic usages. The book is sure to become an essential manual for homemakers, script puncher-uppers, eccentric know-it-alls of all ages and many others. Rather than "review" the book which would require actually "reading" said book, I conducted a hard-hitting Q&A with the authors. The frequently hilarious results are "cut and pasted" below. Hello Gary, hello Eric. Eric: Hello Victor, Hello Gary. Gary: Hello Victor ... Eric. First of all guys, congratulations on the book. It is funny, but then how could it not be since it is a book on comedy! It is impressively over 200 pages and has hardly any misspelled words. Well done! G: Thanks for all the exclamation points in your comment. We also try to use them in the book to convey our excitement about comedy! E: Thank you for the kind, correctly spelled, words. By the way, my favorite comedy number is #153—The Slow Burn. My favorite funny name is "Crackersnatch Pancyfancer." Brown is the funniest color. The greatest overall comedian is Sid Caesar. The funniest movie is either Duck Soup, Dr. Strangelove, or Grandma's Boy. G: I think you've read into the question a little too much Eric, wait til later and see if he asks us if we have any favorite things we masturbate to. Describe, if you will, your book to our readers. I could summarize it, but, hell, you guys wrote the damn thing. E: Gary will knock this one out of the park. G: Actually, a summary doesn't even do it justice. We recommend buying two books to fully understand what we're trying to say. We've got a lot of comedy secre