Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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A Convergence
of Convergences:
A Contest.

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For more information
about this contest,
click here.

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Contest Winner No. 5.

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Catskills Vagina.

By Dan Clem

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In the summer of 2003 the New York City MTA and the Department of Environmental Protection placed posters featuring archival photos of early-20th-century New York City projects (bridges, waterworks, etc.) inside city subway cars. My favorite, for pretty obvious reasons, was the one of the Catskills Aqueduct circa 1913. In this image we see five men standing in the mouths of three symmetrical ducts branching off from a larger one (or perhaps merging into one). It wasn't just the stunningly vaginal quality of each aperture that caught my eye: it was their eerie resemblance—especially that of the middle one, which I show here—to the frontal view of the female genitalia in Gray's Anatomy. The proportions and reflective highlights match up nicely, and the symbolic stuff is pretty obvious: life springs forth from both water and womb, mammalian life depends on both, many humans enjoy spending time in water and in vaginas, and so on.

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Weschler Responds.

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I can't imagine what Mr. Clem is talking about. But then ... I am reminded of the old story—in fact, I include it in the book—about the guy who goes to the shrink, desperate for relief: "Doc, Doc, you've got to help me, I can't take it anymore. My problem is—" At which point the doctor interrupts him: "No, no, don't tell me. I'll give you a little test here and I'll be able to tell you what your problem is." He pulls out a sheaf of placards from his desk drawer and shows the patient the first—which portrays a simple pair of straight, parallel vertical lines—asking him, "What's this?" "Oh my God," says the guy, "it's two people, a man and a woman, and they're necking, and yecch, it's disgusting." Hmm, thinks the shrink as he scribbles a note on his clipboard. "And this?" (Another two lines, this time horizontal.) "Ach, Jesus!" exclaims the patient. "It's the same two and now they're in bed, they're having physical relations, intercourse, and, aye, it's completely revolting." Hmmm, thinks the shrink as he jots himself another note. "And this?" (Another two lines, this time crossed.) "Oh my Lord, dear God," stammers the patient, barely able to continue. "It's the same couple and this time, I can't even say it, they're ... they're—" "Sir," interrupts the shrink, "we don't even have to go any further. I can already tell you what your problem is: You, sir, have a pathologically dirty mind."

"I've got a dirty mind?" the patient explodes. "You're the one showing me the dirty pictures!"

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OTHER WINNERS.

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1. Evolving, Evolved by Charlie Hopper

2. Primal Forces, Basic Colors by Andy Hunter

3. The End of the Beginning by Holly Dunsworth

Intermezzo by Lawrence Weschler

4. This Is Not an Ad by Jimmy Chen

6. The Antipodes by Chris Zic

7. Self-Made Constriction by Sam Gaskin

8. We Are the Son by Danny Erker

9. Painfully Unaware by Dan Park

10. Gutshot by Jason Torchinsky

Weschler's Second Interlude

11. Love and War by Kim Wood

12. Inside and Out There by Lena Webb

13. The March by Emily Marvosh

14. Feminine Divine Triptych by Margit Christenson

15. Time's Deliberate Convergence by Steve Denyszyn

16. A Rousseau/Hirshfield Convergence by Adam Webb

Beirut/Warsaw by Lawrence Weschler

17. Clothesline Raising Over Carlisle, Indiana by Charlie Hopper

Carnival of Convergences

Weschler's Fourth Interlude

Aftersquib to the Foregoing

18. Pelvises All the Way Down by John Peter Rickgauer

19. Ovary Night? by Maya Muñoz

20. Christ in Space by Jonathan Shipley

A Pair of Convergences Off of Tina Barney

Another Carnival of Convergences

21. Moral Confusion: Iraq, Munich, and Vietnam by Donald Rumsfeld

22. Seeing the Tree for the Forest by Walter Murch

An Addendum to the Foregoing, and a Visitor Challenge

23, 24, and 25. Far Out by Michael Benson, Brian Christian, and Walter Murch

26. Jewish Bunk Beds by Monica S. Bland

Those Damn Swedish Trees, Take 3: Convergence of the Blogs

27. Degenerate Boogie-Woogie by Lisa Lee

Carnival of Convergences No. 3

28. Sand and Moon by Alison Cornyn

Actaeon: An Ovidian Impromptu by Lawrence Weschler

29 and 30. Hoods and Veils by Vero Testa and Lauren Redniss

The Onion/Bickle Convergence by Lawrence Weschler

31. The Lone Figure Against the Armored Swarm by Michele Siegel

32. Muscle and Flow by Benjamin R. Cohen

An Addendum to the Foregoing: Cities, Brains, Orchestras by Lawrence Weschler

Saint and Princess by Lawrence Weschler

Beauty Queen and Baghdad Hummer by Lawrence Weschler

Carnival of Convergences No. 4

Laughing, Clapping, Constantly Forgetting: A Trill of Readerly Associations by Lawrence Weschler

33. Lithographica by R.A. Villanueva

34. Papal Fire (Papa Lux) by Nick Feia

Addendum to "Laughing, Clapping ..." and, More Specifically, to the Stalinist-Applause Anecdote by Lawrence Weschler

35. Disseminations: Internet, Dandelions, Flight Paths by Sarah Daegling

36. Black and White and in Color by Walter Murch

Carnival of Convergences No. 5

Lee Friedlander's Visionary Trees: An Addendum to the Last Chapters of Everything That Rises by Lawrence Weschler

37. Shipwrecked Desperation by Charles Mudede via Matt Haber

38. Life Forms by Ariel Winter

Cameras, Action! From Disney World to St. Peter's Square, the Mediative Flight From the Immediate by Lawrence Weschler

Carnival of Convergences No. 6

Convergent Postscripts by Lawrence Weschler

From Da Vinci to Duchamp, by Way of Russia by Lawrence Weschler

Venus on a Vespa, Berger on My Mind by Lawrence Weschler

 

MORE ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT RISES

 

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