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My Ballet Teacher’s Increasingly Threatening Metaphors for Lifting the Pelvic Floor
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A History of Pizza Hut’s New Product Releases, 2002-2042
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What to Say When Friends are Discussing Video Games That You Have Not Played
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Reasons My Puppet Show Pilot Wasn’t Picked Up for Television
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Great Quotes From the End of NASA’s Space Shuttle Era
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What Your Favorite ’80s Band Says About You
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Additional Improvements to the Coors Light “Cold Activated” Beer Can
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Famous Opening Lines from Novels Updated for the Modern Age
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Yiddish Words for the 21st Century
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Lesser Nobility
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Positions Found in The Kama Sutra for Midwesterners
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April Fools’ Day Pranks to Play On an Unemployed 20-Something Male Who Still Lives at Home With His Parents
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If the Beach Boys Had Lived in Great Britain
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Gaius Julius CaesarStone™ Introduces the Roman Patriot Collection: New Countertop Colors for Spring 49 BC
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Tips for Your Mommy Blog
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What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You, Part Two
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Your Place in the Social Security Number-Based Caste System of the Future
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A Series of Haiku from a Shift at Starbucks
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I’ve Been Told My LOLCat Captions Are Too Wordy
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Major Points in a Handwriting Analysis of Bigfoot’s Signature
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Taglines for The Social Network Knock-Offs
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What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You
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Reasons Not to Think Outside the Box
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Important Instructions for the Babysitters of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Children
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Growing Up, Our Neighbor Never Called Her Grandmother “Grandma.”
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Ingredients in Tostitos Hint of Lime Chips
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Place I’ve Cried or Place Ludacris Claims He Had Sex in His Song “What’s Your Fantasy”?
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Your Newborn’s Cries Decoded: A Guide for Manhattanites
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Literary Symbols I Fear I Overuse
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TED Talks Throughout History
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Settlers of Catanlifornia
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Continued Problems With Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark
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Other Guesses for That’s Why They Call It Blues
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Things I Have Needed to Google While Writing Poems to Turn In to My MFA Workshop
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HGTV Program Or Film About Human Trafficking?
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Modest Alternatives to “Fuck Me Boots.”
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My Tenure as Holiday Party Planner Was Long, Controversial, and Will Be Ultimately Vindicated by History
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Surprising Things Mr. Potter Did With the $8000 Uncle Billy Lost
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The Ultimate Gift Guide for Tea Partiers of All Ages
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Revelations from Wicked Leaks Plumbing, Inc. of Medford, Massachusetts
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Phrases I Use to Practice My Katharine Hepburn Impression
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The Jazz Vocal Institute’s Glossary of Scat Syllables (Z)
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Suggested Caveats for Standard Wedding Vows
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Surprising Index Entries from Sarah Palin’s New Book America By Heart
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Continuity Errors and Other Mistakes in the Film Eat Pray Love
by Austin Sidley (12/2/2010)

Jehovah or J-Hova?
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Hemingway’s Blonde Jokes
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Metal Band or Collective Noun?
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Visual Representations of Sexual Congress, From Classiest To Crassest
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Metacritic Throughout History
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Other Political Parties Inspired By Things Upon Which People Generally Agree
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Pickup Artists’ Favorite Discussion Topics
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Names of Poses for American Apparel Models
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Barack Obama’s Undersold 2012 Campaign Slogans
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College Course or Brand of Dietary Supplement?
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