Thoughts I’ve Had While Watching Intervention That Could Possibly Be Red Flags
by Walter Carson (2/12/2009)

Fortune-Cookie Messages Appropriate for Dickens Characters
by Julia McCloy and Travis Tyler (2/5/2009)

Legacies of Other Bush Administrations
by Charlie Hopper (2/5/2009)

The Real Housewives of Hazzard County
by Wendi Aarons (2/5/2009)

Failed Food Cross-Promotions of the 1970s and Their Taglines
by Eric Feezell and Gladstone (1/29/2009)

Rockinest Weather Forecasts by Decade
by Luke O'Neil (1/29/2009)

Why I’ll Never Make It as a Standup Comedian
by Ed Murray (1/29/2009)

Secure Website Authentification Questions
by Joel Gunz (1/8/2009)

Mysterious Ways in Which the Lord Works
by JT Dobbs (1/8/2009)

Radiohead at the Culinary Institute
by Jimmy Chen (1/8/2009)

Unpromising Apartment-Ad Teasers Actually Found on Craigslist That Would Make Even Less Promising Personal-Ad Teasers
by Eric Feezell (12/19/2008)

Economic Concepts That Apply to My Love Life
by Jeff Bladt (12/19/2008)

Several Mutations Thwarted by Natural Selection
by Pete Reynolds (12/19/2008)

Broadway Musicals Written by Gender-Studies Professors
by Sascha Cohen (12/19/2008)

More-Realistic Names for Chex Party Mix (Based on My Personal Experience)
by Peter Bartlett (12/5/2008)

What Could Have Been
by Colin Perkins (12/5/2008)

Evidence That Automakers Predicted Senate Hearings but Not the Outcome of the 2008 Presidential Election
by Elizabeth Worthington (12/5/2008)

Self-Analysis of Last Week’s Dreams
by John Bobey (11/13/2008)

Reasons You Might Die of Consumption in a 19th-Century Novel, in Order From Least Likely to Most Likely
by Arielle Zibrak (11/13/2008)

Modesty Plates
by Lucas Klauss (11/13/2008)

New Anxiety Medications for Coping With Economic Gloom
by Peter Scallion (10/31/2008)

Famous Lines From ’80s Anthems Adjusted for the Cost of Living
by Gabrielle Wootton (10/31/2008)

Tenth-Graders’ Favorite Suggestive Terms From Geometry
by Mark Amundsen (10/22/2008)

STD Medication or Character From The NeverEnding Story?
by Sam O'Brien (10/22/2008)

Things That Sound Like the FedEx Truck Delivering the Job-Offer Letter That Will End My Employment Drought
by Kathy Tempesta (10/22/2008)

Parade Magazine’s “What People Earn”: Grimms’ Fairy Tale Edition
by Lance Waller (10/1/2008)

Starting Lineup for the Fantasy Football Team “Last of the Mohicans.”
by Joseph S. Dubroff (10/1/2008)

Things Not to Tell Fellow Construction Workers When You’re the New Guy
by Zach Fox (10/1/2008)

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in My Spam Box
by Spencer Green (9/11/2008)

Dance Dance Revolution
by Matthew Bonnano (9/11/2008)

New Texting Acronyms for the Elderly
by Tominda Adkins (9/11/2008)

Three Things I’d Take to a Desert Island
by Mike Sacks (8/28/2008)

Jokes I Came Up With While Recovering From Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus
by Olivia Walch (8/28/2008)

Footnotes, Endnotes, and Parentheticals That Cost Me Marks on My Thesis
by Mike Baylis (8/28/2008)

T-Shirts My Ex-Boyfriends Would Wear in a More Honest World
by Laura Registrato (8/21/2008)

Planned Sequels to Nicolas Cage’s Upcoming Film Bangkok Dangerous
by Benjamin Sarlin (8/21/2008)

Jane Austen Tries Her Hand at Advertising
by Halli Melnitsky (7/31/2008)

Kama Suture Techniques
by Sara Kinninmont (7/31/2008)

Parks for English Majors
by Andrew Bridgman (7/31/2008)

New York’s Best Child Doctors
by Lucas Klauss (7/17/2008)

I Think My Soulmate Has Done Hard Time,
by Jerry Renek, John Garside, Keith Landeau and Marty Shields (7/17/2008)

Pickup Lines to Use While Moving
by Alison Rosen (6/27/2008)

Existential Travel Guides
by Kevin Ueda (6/27/2008)

Phrases I’d Rather Not Be Used at My Funeral
by Harry Burt (6/27/2008)

Neil Diamond’s Shilo: Girl, Dog, or Demon?
by Ann Tweedy (6/20/2008)

Table Names at Our Wedding If We Were Truthful
by Harris Bloom (6/20/2008)

All the Words
by Nicole Cliffe (6/20/2008)

Top Searches on Gogol.com
by Teddy Wayne (6/4/2008)

Reasons Why Your Retired Derby-Winning Stallion Isn’t Siring
by Marco Kaye (6/4/2008)

The Final Standings in a Contest to Create an Emoticon for the Most Seemingly Impossible to Depict State of Being
by Adam Quesnell (6/4/2008)

Selected Minutes From Lolcat City Council Meetings
by Chris Steck (5/20/2008)

30 Rocks
by Rachel Andelman (5/20/2008)

Performance-Review Phrases I Don’t Want to Hear on Judgment Day
by Sarah Effird (5/20/2008)

Intolerable Acts
by Mark Amundsen (5/14/2008)

Jobs That Have Salaries Arguably Incommensurate With the Work They Entail
by Eric Feezell (5/14/2008)

Actual Hummer Dealerships
by Andrew Brandon (5/8/2008)

Lee Marvin’s Blender Settings
by Jim Cowles (5/8/2008)

Less Popular Alternatives to First-Person Shooters
by Philip Apps (5/8/2008)

Court Cases With Which I Am Familiar
by Hudson Hongo (5/8/2008)

What My Dad Is Talking About When He Yells “That’s What I’m Talking ’Bout.”
by Julia McCloy (4/24/2008)

Categories I’d Be Sure to Win In on the Show Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
by Mandy Schick (4/24/2008)

Sex Practices of the Freelance Writer
by Iris Smyles (4/24/2008)

Signs Your Work Environment Is Actually Van Halen Circa 1984
by Ryan Boudinot (4/19/2008)

Alternatives to Setting Your House on Fire to Avoid Foreclosure
by Melanie Berliet (4/16/2008)

If Horton Lived in My Neighborhood
by Wendi Aarons (4/16/2008)

Classes My Top-Tier Law School Should Have Offered as Warnings About the Profession
by E. Noakes (4/16/2008)

Uncircumcised Men Speak About Their Foreskins
by Jimmy Chen (4/10/2008)

All Tomorrow’s Pills
by Dan Kennedy (4/10/2008)

Relationship Advice I Might Give, Considering How My Last One Ended
by Allison Morrow (4/3/2008)

Easy-Listening Songs From the ’70s, Rewritten by the Artists After They Had Kids
by Suzanne Broughton (4/3/2008)

Porn for Depressives
by Carmen Nobel (4/3/2008)

Titles of Love Songs I Would Write for People Like Me
by Kathy Salerno (3/26/2008)

Text Messages That Would Have Been Helpful
by Jen Statsky (3/20/2008)

American Gladiator or American Car Model?
by Sarah Spooner (3/20/2008)

Brews to Accessorize the Modern Hipster
by Kevin Scheitrum (3/19/2008)

Unremarkable Things Bent by Uri Geller
by Tyler Stoddard Smith (3/19/2008)

A Comprehensive List of Third-Place Finishers for U.S. President, 2008–2036
by David Warnke (3/6/2008)

An Accidental Merging of the 2007 Billboard Year-End Hot 100 With the Operating Report From My Bowel Resection
by Greta Boesel (2/28/2008)

A Picnic Date Ending in an Awkward Sexual Encounter, Told Chronologically Through Board-Game Titles
by Jeff Russell (2/28/2008)

Cowboy Deaths, in Descending Order of Degree of Dignity
by Nathan Thornton (2/28/2008)

Unfortunate “That’s What She Said” Precursors in Casual Sports
by David Henne (2/21/2008)

Significant Ways I Differ From Carly Simon
by Mark Amundsen (2/21/2008)

The Seven Laws of Higher Self-Esteem
by Wynn Quon (2/21/2008)

Recipes for Disaster
by Jennifer Miller (2/8/2008)

Other Things There Will Be, in Addition to Blood
by Meredith Rodkey and Scott Rodkey (2/7/2008)

The 21st-Century Adventures of Tintin
by Neil Graf (2/7/2008)

NFL Players Whose Names Sound Vaguely Dickensian, and the Characters They Would Be in an Actual Dickens Novel (2007–2008 Regular Season Edition)
by Susan Schorn (2/1/2008)

Times You’re a Lady
by Jessica Clary (2/1/2008)

What Pathologists Might Name Their Daughters
by Brett Ortler (2/1/2008)

The Oldest Tricks in the Book
by Neil Reynolds (1/24/2008)

If Allen Ginsberg Had Written Pay-Per-Click Ads
by Russell Bradbury-Carlin (1/24/2008)

Rejected Introductions to Days of Our Lives
by Andy Friedhof (1/24/2008)

A Brief History of the War on Terror as Told Through Song Titles of the Legendary Canadian Rock Group April Wine
by Caley Feldman (1/17/2008)

Alternate Titles for It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
by Julia McCloy (1/17/2008)

Top Ten Best Ever
by Peter Ferland (1/10/2008)

Art Movements Inspired by 2008 Presidential Hopefuls
by Eric Feezell (1/10/2008)

The Wages of Sin
by David W. McCoy (1/10/2008)

Correspondences Between TV Characters and Sets Containing a Specified Number of Items
by Jay Wexler (12/19/2007)

Band Names That, When Announced From the Stage, Elicit the Most-Tepid Responses
by Christian Harris and Melanie Minzes (12/19/2007)

“Clue” Accusations, 2012
by David Hart (12/19/2007)