A McSweeney’s Kickstarter Testimonial

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“It was May, 1999 or so, give or take a year, and I had hit the road, tired of working for the ‘man.’ I was thumbing rides, and hopping boxcars or ‘shuffling squaretops’ (hobo slang). I was a loner, didn’t want or need another’s company. I was tired, strung out. I’d been working 80-hour weeks writing copy for a hot new product called ‘the Internet.’ One night I was holed up in a tree outside of Phoenix and from my perch I could see a young punk fussing with a rusty bicycle outside of the public library. I yelled down, ‘Hey, man! Don’t ya got no sense?’ and he scattered like he’d heard a ghost. I got to thinking bout that library down there and fell asleep dreaming of the possibilities. In the morning I crawled over to the entrance like a baby on a trail of crumbs. A kind lady let me in early and I got the first seat in front of their brand new computer. I logged onto the devil himself, wondering if I’d regret it, but then to my surprise I found me a little site called ‘McSweeney’s.’ It was a gateway, man. Finally the devil had redeemed himself. It was as if Saint Peter had popped his head out and said, ‘Hey, ‘bo, life can be a breeze if you let it, ya know?’ I made an about face, and now I run a chain of carpet shops in the Midwest. All thanks to McSweeney’s. So please support their Kickstarter.”
— Ted Travelstead, actor, writer, longtime Tendency contributor, and 41st ranked carpet salesperson in the Midwest

Visit our Kickstarter page to pledge your support.

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Reviews of Self-Help Books by Professional Athletes

BY

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2013 Column Contest Winner

As youths, we are encouraged to play sports so we can build character and gain leadership skills. But professional athletes are often symbols of bloated egotism and excess. So when a professional athlete writes a self-help book, should you take their advice? Miles Wray will let you know what he thinks.

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Consider the Austin: A Review of Beyond Center Court by Tracy Austin (10/23/2014)

Very Smiley Football Robot: A Review of Game Changer by Kirk Cousins (9/3/2014)

The World’s Most Private Memoirist: A Review of Character Driven by Derek Fisher (8/18/2014)

Take It Easy and Only Work a Hundred Hours This Week: A Review of How Good Do You Want to Be? by Nick Saban (6/25/2014)

Yakkin’ ’Round the Water Cooler: A Review of Game Time
by Jen Mueller
(5/30/2014)

Another B-Ballin’ Corporate Synergist: A Review of The One-Day Contract by Rick Pitino (5/6/2014)

Putting the Biscuit in the Basket: A Review of Go for the Goal by Mia Hamm. (4/18/2014)

Love Means Nothing: A Review of Serving From the Hip by Venus and Serena Williams (3/28/2014)

The B-Ballin’ Corporate Synergist: A Review of The Winner Within by Pat Riley (3/6/2014)

Confetti Rains on the Hugging Coach: A Review of Win Forever by Pete Carroll (2/13/2014)

Punching the Clock in These Gyms: A Review of The Mental Handbook by Dre Baldwin (1/21/2014)

Olympian vs. Texas Department of Corrections: A Review of On the Right Track by Marion Jones (12/12/2013)

Miami’s Preeminent Cheerleader Magnet: A Review of Next Question by Drew Rosenhaus (11/15/2013)

The Pride of Kalamazoo: A Review of The Life You Imagine by Derek Jeter (10/23/2013)

Olympian vs. Buffalo Wild Wings: A Review of No Limits by Michael Phelps (10/4/2013)

Funder Claps: Hook Me Up, Playa! by Lawrence Funderburke (9/17/2013)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. We’re also transitioning to a nonprofit and would greatly appreciate your help. You can support us today by donating to our Kickstarter campaign.