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Total Loss: A Column About Inventorying Other People’s Tragedies

BY

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Stef Willen works for the leading West Coast natural disaster company. Her thorough inventory of everything in a burned-down home or business helps owners receive fair settlements from their insurance company. She planned on doing it for a couple of months. Then a couple more. Then maybe long enough to write a book about it. Now it’s what she does, and she gets a decent paycheck if someone’s charred dwelling is at least 3,500 square feet. If they are a clinical hoarder, she doesn’t have to work for the rest of the month.

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Column 19: I’m Here (9/21/2011)

Column 18: Nobody Cares About Chickens (8/31/2011)

Column 17: Wonderfully Ordinary (8/16/2011)

Column 16: Living Facility (7/21/2011)

Column 15: Inferno 6 (6/27/2011)

Column 14: Bring It On, House Fire, Part Two (6/9/2011)

Column 13: Bring It On, House Fire, Part One (5/20/2011)

Column 12: In Steve’s Truck Again (5/4/2011)

Column 11: One In a Billion (4/14/2011)

Column 10: Laugh, Love, Smile (3/29/2011)

Column 9: The Balloon Bottom Epoch (3/9/2011)

Column 8: Paranormal Activity (2/17/2011)

Column 7: Collapsible Throne (1/28/2011)

Column 6: Disaster Happens (Hopefully Someplace Cool I’ve Never Been To) (1/12/2011)

Column 5: I Left My Rolex Next to My Vat of Cheez Whiz (12/14/2010)

Column 4: The Right to Bare Arms and Pretty Much Everything Else (11/23/2010)

Column 3: I Think I Found Your Cat (11/5/2010)

Column 2: All In a Day’s Tragedy (10/20/2010)

Column 1: I Have a Sneaking Suspicion You Burnt Your Own House Down, Or Maybe You Just Give Me the Creeps (10/4/2010)

McSweeney’s is a publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, the Believer, Lucky Peach, Wholphin, and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store.