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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama
.

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T O   W R I T E   A   B O O K   A B O U T
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O N   B O A T S .


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Today McSweeney's has decided, based on certain rosy economic forecasts, that it will be proceeding rather soon with its plans to publish small-run books, pamphlets, tracts, and the like.

One of the first books will be by Mr. Brent Hoff, our science correspondent. It will be about a subject he would rather disclose later.

The author and content of the second book are a secret.

The third book will be about electrical engineering on boats. This book will be a great book, but it does not yet have an author. That is what this note, and this contest, is about. This contest is open to everyone, and the winner of the contest will receive a nice amount of money (though bear in mind that the print run will be about 1,000), and the winner will then write this book, which must, at least on its surface, be about electrical engineering on boats.

What you must do:

Submit to us, at this special address [eeonboats@hotmail.com] no more than 800 words about the goals and shape of your plan for this book. If you have some special qualifications -- for example, you are an engineer specializing in electricity on boats -- then please say so. In your proposal, indicate:

- how you see the book structured; and
- that you are serious about writing about electrical engineering on boats.

Please do not:

- tell us about your degrees (unless they are in electrical engineering),
- or about your previously published work (unless it concerns electricity, boats, or the two together), or
- refashion an existing piece of fiction so that its protagonist is an engineer. (We know all your tricks.) This is not to be a work of fiction about people and their problems. This book will be, in overwhelmingly large part, about exactly what it says it's about: electrical engineering on boats. (Though we never said there couldn't be a wee bit of subtext.)

The deadline for proposals is March 1. Only emailed submissions can be considered, and any entries sent to the wrong email address will not be valid. The correct address is eeonboats@hotmail.com -- not the main McSweeney's address.

In March, we will pick from among the entries a winner, and that winner will be given approximately two months to write a book about electrical engineering on boats. The book can (and should) be rather short. It needn't be over 5,000 words, but it can be, if need be. It will be profusely illustrated. Do not attempt the illustrations yourself.

The book will be published in the summer. The author will win large awards, and the adulation of most everyone, in the fall.

This contest is very real. If you have questions, we cannot answer them. Use the information provided above, and do your best.

Thank you for your help in this matter.
McSweeney's

 

 

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Instructions for Reaching the Bridge to the 21st Century By Paul Maliszewski
Vignettes That Won't Make It Into the New York Times "Metropolitan Diary" By Tom Ruprecht
Another example of the illuminating correspondence between John Hodgman, Professional Literary Agent, and his cousin, one 'Josh,' who aims to be a man of letters. By John Hodgman
Fragments from Elian! The Musical By Ben Greenman

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