Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

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Just in time for Valentine's Day,
the Guardian in London has
reviewed and raved about
The Secret Language of Sleep.
And, for the rest of the week,
you can buy it for $5!

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M c S W E E N E Y ' S
B R A I N   E X P L O D E R


EDITED BY CARLTON DOBY


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G U B E R N A T O R I A L Y S S A
M I L A N O .

September 17

Pending an appeal in federal court, the election to recall (or not) the governor of California is (or isn't) just a few weeks away. The campaign itself has been relatively short and so grassroots electioneering has been critical. Much of the effort has gone to door-to-door canvassing and colorful signs for candidates to display in the yards and windows of their supporters.

Now these signs aren't very big, which is a problem for some candidates, specifically Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger, who must print his last name in very small letters. This puts him at a great disadvantage to more recognizable, large-print rivals like Audie Bock and Paul Nave.

Now imagine how difficult it would be for Arnold if he had to campaign with a running mate. It would be much easier if the first name of the candidate for lieutenant governor shared a few letters with Arnold's last name. For instance, if he were running alongside the former star of TV's Major Dad, the sign would read:

"Arnold SchwarzenegGerald McRaney"

Or, if Gary Coleman wanted to run with Albanian Actress Ema Ndoja, they could be:

"Gary ColEmaNdoja"

Below, you will find the first two letters of the first name of potential candidates, and the last two letters of the last names of their potential running mates. Fill in the blank to reveal the name of the complete ticket. California election rules require all candidates and their running mates be television or movie actors. They do not require, however, that the candidates be living, or even for the candidates to have been on this Earth at the same time. The names of candidates and their running mates must share at least three letters. In some cases there may be more than one correct answer. The winner of a McSweeney's book will be chosen at random from all entries with the most answers correct. Answers are due by noon, Friday, September 19, and, as always, should be sent to carltondoby@hotmail.com.

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1. Ja_____________ey

2. Ga_____________ty

3. Em____________hn

4. Ti_____________ck

5. Ca_____________nn

6. Ma_____________es

7. Le_____________er

8. Ra_____________on

9. Wi_____________or

10. Ma_____________en

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