O magazine says about Michael Chabon's Maps and Legends: "Vital energy and a boundless appetite for risk give these essays their electric charge." Get the book for $5 off its cover price in our online store. - - - -

M c S W E E N E Y ' S B R A I N   E X P L O D E R EDITED BY CARLTON DOBY - - - - " A N D   S T A Y   T U N E D F O R   S T .   T H O M A S M O R G A N T O W N ! " July 30 This fall, the CBS television network will be debuting a new show called Joan of Arcadia. Based on early promos, it seems the weekly drama tells the story of God, who takes the form of a cute boy at Arcadia High School so he can boss around a sophomore named Joan and possibly drive her insane. Now it seems likely the producers of this program came up with the title pun first, then reverse-engineered the story to fit the title. Here at the Brain Exploder, this seems like a very easy way to make money. We made up three title puns, then wrote treatments for television shows to fit each of them. Read the synopses below and try to figure out the names of the programs. Next week, we'll print the original titles, as well as the best and most entertaining guesses we receive from readers. (Note: the answers don't necessarily have to follow the name/place format of the above example.) From all the respondents, our staff will pick one person to win a McSweeney's book of our choosing. Send your answers to carltondoby@hotmail.com by noon Friday, August 1. 1. Born in Munich and recently arrived in America, Olga settles on the Gulf coast of Florida where she amuses the locals with her Bavarian accent and teaches German at the local high school. When a mega-corporation wants to tear down six homes to build the state's largest Coffee Depot, Olga refuses to sell in order to save the heron habitat that stretches through her backyard. Although she must contend with scheming corporate executives and half-a-dozen colorful but angry neighbors, Olga forms a special bond with the rescued birds. Highly intelligent and organized, the herons show their gratitude by doing Olga favors around the house, coming to the aid of troubled youths in her German class, and by smiting Olga's enemies in bloody, Hitchcockian, aerial assaults. Don't miss the show TV Guide calls "Willard, but with a German lady and giant birds instead of rats!" 2. Oral surgeon Greg Fanning and bone specialist Louis DeGregorio are young physicians living the good life. They share an expensive houseboat where they entertain some of the loveliest single women in San Diego and foster a reputation as two of the beachfront's most eligible bachelors. But when high school buddy Ian Westwood, a computer programmer and unreconstructed Dungeonmaster, drops anchor in the slip next door, he threatens their hip lifestyle with his connection to their nerdy past. Can two former dweebs swing with the hipsters without abandoning a square but good-hearted old buddy? 3. Fifteen years ago, Virgil Kent, a cabinet minister in Margaret Thatcher's government, was forced by public scandal to resign and start his life over in America. Chubby, balding, and a recovering alcoholic, Virgil now installs laminate flooring in Indianapolis and, although inexplicably married to Phoebe Cates, he finds himself caught in the everyday limbo of ordinary life. When Virgil is called in to redo the floors at the Indiana State House, however, Republican Senator Dan Geary finds the Brit's wise counsel critical to his reelection, and Virgil has a chance to redeem himself in a political landscape far removed from Parliament. - - - - Click here for the answers to this Brain Exploder.     MORE BRAIN EXPLODERS

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL