- - - -

Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.

- - - -

M c S W E E N E Y ' S B R A I N   E X P L O D E R : A N S W E R S . - - - - CELEBRITY "PHIL" IN THE BLANK July 23 1. Of all the Gibb Brothers, the artist DREW BARRYMORE often than he sketched Maurice. 2. "I can pay you in bricks or you can take your SHARON STONE." 3. Sign held on street median by down-on-his-luck metalworker: "WILL SMITH for food." 4. "You can either snag a petal, snatch a bud, ORLANDO BLOOM for your pressed flower collection." 5. "Pots of ROD STEWART made by boiling small cylinders with thine vegetables." About one in six entrants got all five correct. Number one turned out to be the easiest, number five was the most difficult, and number two was surprisingly tricky. Although they weren't the answers we were looking for, entrants who wrote CASSIUS CLAY ("cash as clay") for number two and JIMMY STEWART for number five (those ice cream toppings ARE both tiny and cylindrical, not to mention delicious) can consider those guesses clever enough. Extra credit to Matt Morris who answered all five correctly and responded with a quiz of his own, which the Brain Exploder hasn't had time to work on, but may (or may not) be featured at some future date. - - - - THE FIRST FIVE TO REPLY WITH PERFECT SCORES AND THE RECIPIENTS OF A MCSWEENEY'S BOOK: Kiberius Spark Bill Lammey Megan Sharkey Joe Schmidt Aseel Rasheed - - - - RESPONDENTS WHO LIVE IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE IN WHICH FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOVERNOR WILL(IAM) WELD IS MORE FAMOUS THAN WILL SMITH: Randall Nottingham Todd Vencil Chris Barry - - - - TARA REID FANS WITH THE UGLIEST PRESSED FLOWER COLLECTIONS IN AMERICA: Josh Mictorn Fred LaBrecque Victoria Nece - - - - THE JACK BLAIR PUN MAN SHOW: 1. Of all the Gibb Brothers, the artist CAMERON DIAZ [camera['d] Andy as (often [as]] he sketched Maurice. 2. "I can pay you in bricks or you can take your STONE, PHILLIPS."    also, CASH, JOHNNY    also, ROCK, CHRIS    also, MONEY, EDDIE    (see also PAYCHECK, JOHNNY by Manuel Gonzales and Bryan Dunn —cd) 3. Sign held on street median by down-on-his-luck metalworker: "WILL SHAKESPEARE (making threatening "stabbing" gestures) for food."    also, GEORGE WILL ____ (you name it, Charley!) 4. "You can either snag a petal, snatch a bud, (or) ROB BECCA'S ROMAINE STAMEN for your pressed flower collection."    also, RYAN LEAF (or eye a[n] leaf) 5. "Pots of SHAFT BROTH ARE (Shaft, brother!) made by boiling small cylinders with thine vegetables." - - - - RANDALL NOTTINGHAM, BETWEEN THIS AND WILL WELD, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE FROM MASSACHUSETTS? 2. Red Auerbach — famous Boston Celtics coach. This is probably not the answer you had in mind, but hear me out: Red Hour Recordings is a small studio in Columbus, Ohio. Therefore, a "Red Hour" could be a CD of music they recorded, which would make "I can pay you in bricks or you can take your Red Hour back" a perfectly plausible thing for an unemployed mason to say to a friend who suggested he buy the CD. - - - - FINALLY, A PARTIAL LIST OF OTHER GUESSES RECEIVED, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER: V. I. Lenin Fiona Apple Brian DePalma Cher Goldie Hawn Wally Backman Erskine Bowles 50-Cent Jeremy Irons Danielle Steele Martha Stewart Stuart Little French Stewart Art Garfunkel Viggo Mortensen Sal Mineo     MORE BRAIN EXPLODERS

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ AND HERE'S THE KICKER: MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE ABOUT THE WILD THINGS ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT FEVER CHART ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT ZEITOUN LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO, DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL