O magazine says about Michael Chabon's Maps and Legends: "Vital energy and a boundless appetite for risk give these essays their electric charge." Get the book for $5 off its cover price in our online store. - - - -

M c S W E E N E Y ' S B R A I N   E X P L O D E R : A N S W E R S . - - - - CELEBRITY "PHIL" IN THE BLANK July 23 1. Of all the Gibb Brothers, the artist DREW BARRYMORE often than he sketched Maurice. 2. "I can pay you in bricks or you can take your SHARON STONE." 3. Sign held on street median by down-on-his-luck metalworker: "WILL SMITH for food." 4. "You can either snag a petal, snatch a bud, ORLANDO BLOOM for your pressed flower collection." 5. "Pots of ROD STEWART made by boiling small cylinders with thine vegetables." About one in six entrants got all five correct. Number one turned out to be the easiest, number five was the most difficult, and number two was surprisingly tricky. Although they weren't the answers we were looking for, entrants who wrote CASSIUS CLAY ("cash as clay") for number two and JIMMY STEWART for number five (those ice cream toppings ARE both tiny and cylindrical, not to mention delicious) can consider those guesses clever enough. Extra credit to Matt Morris who answered all five correctly and responded with a quiz of his own, which the Brain Exploder hasn't had time to work on, but may (or may not) be featured at some future date. - - - - THE FIRST FIVE TO REPLY WITH PERFECT SCORES AND THE RECIPIENTS OF A MCSWEENEY'S BOOK: Kiberius Spark Bill Lammey Megan Sharkey Joe Schmidt Aseel Rasheed - - - - RESPONDENTS WHO LIVE IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE IN WHICH FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOVERNOR WILL(IAM) WELD IS MORE FAMOUS THAN WILL SMITH: Randall Nottingham Todd Vencil Chris Barry - - - - TARA REID FANS WITH THE UGLIEST PRESSED FLOWER COLLECTIONS IN AMERICA: Josh Mictorn Fred LaBrecque Victoria Nece - - - - THE JACK BLAIR PUN MAN SHOW: 1. Of all the Gibb Brothers, the artist CAMERON DIAZ [camera['d] Andy as (often [as]] he sketched Maurice. 2. "I can pay you in bricks or you can take your STONE, PHILLIPS."    also, CASH, JOHNNY    also, ROCK, CHRIS    also, MONEY, EDDIE    (see also PAYCHECK, JOHNNY by Manuel Gonzales and Bryan Dunn —cd) 3. Sign held on street median by down-on-his-luck metalworker: "WILL SHAKESPEARE (making threatening "stabbing" gestures) for food."    also, GEORGE WILL ____ (you name it, Charley!) 4. "You can either snag a petal, snatch a bud, (or) ROB BECCA'S ROMAINE STAMEN for your pressed flower collection."    also, RYAN LEAF (or eye a[n] leaf) 5. "Pots of SHAFT BROTH ARE (Shaft, brother!) made by boiling small cylinders with thine vegetables." - - - - RANDALL NOTTINGHAM, BETWEEN THIS AND WILL WELD, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE FROM MASSACHUSETTS? 2. Red Auerbach — famous Boston Celtics coach. This is probably not the answer you had in mind, but hear me out: Red Hour Recordings is a small studio in Columbus, Ohio. Therefore, a "Red Hour" could be a CD of music they recorded, which would make "I can pay you in bricks or you can take your Red Hour back" a perfectly plausible thing for an unemployed mason to say to a friend who suggested he buy the CD. - - - - FINALLY, A PARTIAL LIST OF OTHER GUESSES RECEIVED, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER: V. I. Lenin Fiona Apple Brian DePalma Cher Goldie Hawn Wally Backman Erskine Bowles 50-Cent Jeremy Irons Danielle Steele Martha Stewart Stuart Little French Stewart Art Garfunkel Viggo Mortensen Sal Mineo     MORE BRAIN EXPLODERS

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL