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Now available for preorder:
The San Francisco Panorama.

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M c S W E E N E Y ' S B R A I N   E X P L O D E R : A N S W E R S . - - - - CELEBRITY SEX August 6 Last week's Brain Exploder sent readers on an anagram hunt, and our inbox overflowed with entries. Respondents batted for a high average with most getting all four answers correct. This week's winner of a McSweeney's book, chosen at random, is Ahmad Dialdin. Just for the record: 1. How you might suck up to a Japanese CEO dressed as William Wallace for Halloween: CHIC KILT, MR. SONY (Kristy McNichol) 2. Where you can find a good deal on bulk seaweed: KELP DEPOT (Ted Koppel) 3. Prediction your Irish buddy won't like French Impressionist: FLYNN WILL HATE DEGAS (The Flying Wallendas) 4. Terse command for your tailor. GO HEM MY SUIT (Mighty Mouse) - - - - As always, there were several entries that might not have been technically correct, but we enjoyed them anyway. Note, before I get mail, that many of the following people also had the right answers: THE NAME SOUNDS CHINESE, NOT JAPANESE, BUT WE SURE LIKE THE WAY YOU KISS ASS "Scotch, Mr. Kyin Li?" —Tami Strang (similarly, Meredith Payne) NO RAISE FOR YOU! "Cry on his McKilt." —Bill DeRouchey (Similarly Will Milford) ALL THAT CLEVER WORK AND HE STILL COULDN'T COME UP WITH THE ONE WE WERE LOOKING FOR 1. A terse command to your tailor involving a heretofore unknown asian slur: "Hem it, Soy Gum!" 2. A terse command to your tailor who is a Kundalini master/eccentric quotable former Yankee: "Yogi must hem!" (also David Provost) 3. A terse command to your tailor, with subsequent semi-apologetic explanation, before departing for a work-out: "Hem! I outs—Gym." —Ben Skoch WAN LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BREAKS "Sean fled wanly light." —Bob Lucier DUDE, WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING YOUR SUIT IN? "Omit hems, guy" —Meghan Leon (also Neil Haefs) THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN SUCKING UP AND HARRASSMENT "Cinch Mr. Yo's kilt." —Chris Wright I KNOW THIS GREAT SEASIDE HASH BAR IN SPAIN "De Kelp Pot." —Anonymous WE CAN'T ARGUE WITH EITHER ONE, REALLY (Using Mighty Mouse for #1) Predicated on the assumption that said CEO is Yozaburo Mogi, president and chief executive officer of Kikkoman Corporations, which controls over 55% of the American soy sauce market: "Gosh, Y.! I'm mute!" (Using Kristy McNichol for #4): "Cyril! Thin smock." —Alex Eichler THAT'S TERSER THAN WE WANTED "Cinch my silk tro(users)!" —Michael Northrop I'M NOT SURE IT'S A TAILOR YOU'RE LOOKING FOR "Hum my stogie." —Tom McNulty IT'S AN ANAGRAM AND CHARLIE CHAN MYSTERY IN ONE "Tug me. I'm shy," "I'm Ho. Tug me, Sy," or "Tug my shoe!… I'm…" [at which point he collapses, the tailor removes his shoe to discover the poison-tipped blade inside]. —TG Gibbon MISDIRECTED ANGER (Using Mighty Mouse for #3): "Guy shot mime." —Steve GIVING YOURSELF A LOT OF CREDIT (Using The Flying Wallendas for #4): "Law said lengthen fly." —Steve     MORE BRAIN EXPLODERS

- - - - MAIN PAGE | ARCHIVES Memories of Amanda Davis Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE THE BEST AMERICAN NONREQUIRED READING McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST BOOKSTORES WITH A McSWEENEY'S DISPLAY McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST TEDDY WAYNE'S UNPOPULAR PROVERBS NON-ESSENTIAL MNEMONICS BITCHSLAP: A COLUMN ABOUT WOMEN AND FIGHTING DISPATCHES FROM A GUY TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY TO SELL A SONG IN NASHVILLE GLOBAL WAR ON BEDBUGS: LETTERS FROM BEDBUG CITY THE CONFLICTED EXISTENCE OF A FEMALE PORN WRITER OH MY GAWD: A COLUMN ABOUT A TEENAGER NAVIGATING RELIGION DISPATCHES FROM MANILA DISPATCHES FROM AN INDIAN CASINO THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST CHRIS WHITE ANSWERS PROFOUND QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PRESIDENTS REPORTS FROM THE PINBALL SCENE LETTERS FROM THE HELLBOX NOTES FROM AN AMATEUR SPECTATOR AT AMATEUR MIXED MARTIAL ARTS FIGHTS B.R. COHEN'S DAYS AT THE MUSEUM CONVERSATIONS AT A WARTIME CAFÉ AND HERE'S THE KICKER: MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS GRANT MUNROE'S CORPORATE FOLKTALES SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL DISPATCHES FROM INDIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE ABOUT THE WILD THINGS ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT ABOUT FEVER CHART ABOUT GOD SAYS NO ABOUT ZEITOUN LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM TRAVELING EUROPE IN STYLE WITH AUCKLAND DINGIROO, DARK-AGE TOURIST AND CRITIC OF FOOD AND DRINK JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL