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M c S W E E N E Y ' S
B R A I N   E X P L O D E R


EDITED BY CARLTON DOBY


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SPOOKY HALLOWEEN "PHIL" IN THE BLANK

October 28

With the BE's favorite holiday fast approaching, we turn to an old Brain Exploder favorite. Each of the clues will contain a missing phrase which you will have to complete with a title, author, or character name from horror films or literature. The clue will include blanks showing the number of words needed to complete the pun, as well as (in parentheses) the number of words in the spooky name or title. For instance, the clue might be:

If "hark" is a command to listen, does that ____ _ ______ is a person who hears? (2).

That sentence can be completed with the words "mean a harker," which is a reference to Mina Harker, the wife of Jonathan Harker, who is pursued so relentlessly by Dracula.

Send your answers to carltondoby@hotmail.com by noon Friday. The winner of a McSweeney's book will be chosen at random from all correct entries.

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1. To decorate the gym with turn-of-the-century nostalgia, the prom committee needed an eye for ninety-seven, an ear for ninety-nine, and a ____ ___ _____-___. (1)

2. Classical music is like a drug to me. In fact you could say I'm a ______ _____. (2)

3. The rodeo clown must have had peanut butter on her cheek because she fell down on the job ___ _ ____ ______ ___. (2)

4. The couple packed a cloak and an Irish sweater for their November trip to Helsinki, asserting that a Percy can don flannel ___ _ ____ ___ ____ ____; _______ __ the autumn can be chilly. (5)

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DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW

SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST

DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT

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LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO
A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA


STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

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