Please welcome Amy Jean Porter's horse T-shirt. For the next few days, the shirt is 20 percent off. - - - -

M c S W E E N E Y ' S B R A I N   E X P L O D E R EDITED BY CARLTON DOBY - - - - "YOU'RE THE TOPPS" December 3, 2003 Anyone who's ever collected baseball cards will remember the sentence or two on the back (often accompanied by a cartoon) detailing interesting (and also not so interesting) facts about that player. Before the days of twenty-four-hour sports networks, this might have been the only way fans could discover that Mets pitcher Jesse Orosco "enjoys painting and sculpturing." Below are several actual examples from baseball cards of the seventies and eighties; in these, however, a word or phrase in each has been converted into an anagram. Here's one example: Ed Ott, Catcher, Angels "Has the shortest MANE in the majors." Reading this, you could correctly deduce that Ed Ott had the shortest name in baseball, no matter whatever else you might have heard. And to the Brits and Aussies who will no doubt be angry for the States-centric nature of this week's puzzle, don't sweat it. Hardly anyone in America remembers these blokes either. Send your answers to carltondoby@hotmail.com by noon on Friday, December 5. The winner of a McSweeney's book will be chosen at random from the correct entries. - - - - 1. Rick Waits, Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers "Rick lists TRADING INNING WIGS among his hobbies." 2. Bill Campbell, Pitcher, Philadelphia Phillies "Saw combat duty in Viet Nam RATE POOR ASIA ROAD." 3. Steve Lake, Catcher, Chicago Cubs "His hobbies include BERATING FOUR SUSHI." 4. Craig Swan, Pitcher, New York Mets "Is an avid gardener who TOSS LEWD VERSES TO GARBAGE in Mets bullpen." 5. Bob Davis, Catcher, Toronto Blue Jays "Lists ASKING THE NUN among his favorite pastimes." - - - -     MORE BRAIN EXPLODERS

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