Timothy McSweeney's Header Image

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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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Pieces by
Teddy Wayne.

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My Pitches for Political-Satire Skits Playing on President Obama's Foibles Keep Getting Shot Down
(5/6/09)

Saved by the Bell: The Grad School Years
(3/23/09)

From The Clog: Manchester, Vermont's Insider Gossip Blog for Plumbers
(1/13/09)

Your Best Friend in a Romantic Comedy Is Always There for You
(12/4/08)

The Audacity of Despair
(10/28/08)

Your Candidate for Class Treasurer Has Something to Disclose
By Teddy Wayne and Greg Wayne (10/8/08)

Soberly Written Documents Rendered as Comic-Book Dialogue!
(8/7/08)

Short Imagined Monologues: A Former WWF Wrestler, Now a Suburban Realtor and Parent of Three, Campaigns for PTA Chair and Battles His Instincts
(6/10/08)

The Catcher in the Retirement Home
(4/17/08)

"Page Six" Gets Extremely Personal
(3/11/08)

Ashton Kutcher Fan Fiction: "The Middle School Dance" by Melissa Bell, Age 13
(2/7/08)

Ishmael the Comedian
(1/9/08)

Short Imagined Monologues: An Inarticulate, Self-Consciously Ironic Voice of His Twentysomething Generation Makes an Opening Statement for His Client in a Corporate-Fraud Case
(11/13/07)

We're Huge in Europe
(10/2/07)

Debate for Emperor of the Upsilon Sigma Star System
(8/27/07)

Why There Will Never Be a Lactose-Intolerant President
(8/6/07)

Ivan Lendl, Former Tennis Champion and Current Landscape-Painting Teacher in the Goshen, Connecticut, Community Center
(6/1/07)

Planned Parenthood's Plans C, D, E, F, and G for Iraqi Insurgent Control
(4/13/07)

My Interactive Call Center
(3/23/07)

I'm Starting to Suspect That a Dungeons and Dragons Player Named "Elgdorf the Mage" Is Abusing His Wikipedia Editorial Privileges
(10/26/06)

Perhaps I Should Stop Naming the Protagonists in My Semi-Autobiographical Fiction After Myself
(9/18/06)

Why There Aren't Many Right-Wing Observational Comedians
(5/22/06)

Feedback From James Joyce's Submission of Ulysses to His Creative-Writing Workshop
(5/9/06)

Parallels Between My Living Through Two Years of Middle School and the Two Terms of the Bush Presidency
(3/21/06)

Listmania!: Other Books Useful (or Not) for Americans to Read, Beyond William Blum's Rogue State, by Osama B-L
(1/23/06)

History's Most Lopsided Trades, as Renegotiated by Oakland A's General Manager Billy Beane
(1/16/06)

Ten Reasons Why You, Audrey Tautou, Gamine French Star of Amélie, Should Date Me, Teddy Wayne
(10/24/05)

Urgent Proposal
(8/30/05)

Where Are They Now?
(8/9/05)

Bawdy Best-Man Speeches, Given by the Actual Best Man on Earth at the Time
(6/9/05)

Awkward Interloper of the Realm: Christmas Day With My New Girlfriend's Family As a Circa-1982 Text-Based Computer Adventure Game
(5/23/05)

Yahoo's MAILER-DAEMON Automated Reply for Failed E-mail Delivery Is Getting a Little Too Intimate
(4/12/05)

Short Imagined Monologues: 2008 Presidential Stump Speech of Billy Bush, Cousin of George W. Bush and Access Hollywood Entertainment Reporter
(3/16/05)

The Fabulous Friends: Conservative Christian Groups' Least-Favorite All-Star Cartoon
(1/27/05)

Welcome to Cancún!
(1/24/05)

Johnson's Life of Boswell
(12/15/04)

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Memories of Amanda Davis




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AND HERE'S THE KICKER:
MIKE SACKS'S CONVERSATIONS WITH HUMOR WRITERS


SARAH WALKER SHOWS YOU HOW

DISPATCHES FROM AN ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER
WHO IS TRYING TO GROW A MUSTACHE


DISPATCHES FROM A HANGDOG BANKRUPT

DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAPITAL

DISPATCHES FROM INDIA

THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL

BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS

SEAN MICHAELS LISTENS TO MUSIC IN MONTREAL

SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES

KIDS' LETTERS TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE

DISPATCHES FROM THE WINGS AT THE BALLET

YOUR MONEY, YOUR JOB ... YOUR LIFE, WITH ALISON ROSEN

KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE

LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES

THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST

ABOUT THE CONVALESCENT

ABOUT GOD SAYS NO

ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA

ABOUT THANKS AND HAVE FUN RUNNING THE COUNTRY

LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY

DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY

E-MAILS SENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA ENGLISH DEPARTMENT
FLAG-FOOTBALL TEAM


ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY

JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS

FLIP: A COLUMN ABOUT SKATEBOARDING

OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND

DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN

MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY

DAN KENNEDY SOLVES YOUR PROBLEMS WITH PAPER

STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT

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