Jokes. By Brian Beatty - - - - Hurley. My dog Hurley only knows two commands: "Feed me!" and "Bring me my fetch toy, owner boy!" - - - - PREVIOUS JOKES - - - - Hurley (6/25/08) Torture (5/29/08) Oldsmobile (5/15/08) Gawker Delay (4/23/08) Overripe (4/9/08) Baby Fate (3/11/08) Like Magic (2/13/08) Positive Thinking (1/25/07) Buffaloed (1/7/08) Money Shot (12/3/07) Looks (11/16/07) Danger (10/24/07) Humidity (10/8/07) Monkey Business (9/13/07) Guilty as Charged (8/16/07) Kidding (4/25/07) Fun (3/6/07) Roaming (2/22/07) Ouch (2/15/07) Novel (2/7/07) Yes Man (1/31/07) Milking It (1/24/07) Evenings and Weekends (8/22/06) Fat No More (8/10/06) So Emo (8/3/06) Rejected Playboy Party Joke (7/28/06) Lonely Planet (7/18/06) Advice From the Romance Department (7/12/06) Not Bright (7/6/06) Thumb (6/21/06) Unclassified (6/14/06) Air Conditioning (6/7/06) Oh Brother (5/31/06) Pigs (5/23/06) JCPenney (5/19/06) Pet Theory (5/10/06) Um, Good and What Was I Thinking? (5/4/06) Brian's Secret and Aromatherapy (4/24/06) Amen and Alcoholics Anonymous Anonymous (4/19/06) Red State and Whodunit (4/11/06) My Method (4/3/06) Baby News! (3/21/06) Wildlife Preserves (3/16/06)

- - - - MAIN PAGE   |   ARCHIVES   Memories of Amanda Davis   Red dot denotes content that is new today. Black dot denotes newish content. McSWEENEY'S STORE SUBSCRIBE TO: McSWEENEY'S THE BELIEVER WHOLPHIN FUTURE McSWEENEY'S BOOKS THE AMANDA DAVIS HIGHWIRE FICTION AWARD INVITE A McSWEENEY'S AUTHOR TO SPEAK IN YOUR TOWN OR COLLEGE McSWEENEY'S MONTHLY MAILING LIST McSWEENEY'S-RELATED EVENTS AND VARIOUS TOUR DATES ORDER INQUIRIES AND ADDRESS CHANGES SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: FOR BOOKS FOR THE QUARTERLY FOR THE WEBSITE FOR WHOLPHIN McSWEENEY'S INTERNSHIPS CONTACT US - - - - LETTERS TO McSWEENEY'S LISTS McSWEENEY'S PREDICTS McSWEENEY'S RECOMMENDS NEW WHOLPHIN FILM DAN LIEBERT, VERBAL CARTOONIST JOKES BY BRIAN BEATTY REVIEWS OF NEW FOOD DISPATCHES FROM MOSCOW SO YOU WANT TO BE PRESIDENT? DISPATCHES FROM THE ANACOSTIA THE WINNER'S CIRCLE WITH ERIC FEEZELL BEN GREENMAN'S FAKE CELEBRITY MUSICALS DISPATCHES FROM A HUMANITARIAN JOURNALIST DISPATCHES FROM IRAQ SHORT IMAGINED MONOLOGUES PHILIP GRAHAM SPENDS A YEAR IN LISBON STAINED TEETH: A COLUMN ABOUT WINE DISPATCHES FROM THE NAPOLEONIC WARS AT THE MET KEVIN DOLGIN TELLS YOU ABOUT PLACES YOU SHOULD GO IN EUROPE SONGS OF ENEMIES AND DESERTS: LIVING WITH THE SUDAN LIBERATION ARMY LAWRENCE WESCHLER'S EVERYTHING THAT RISES: A BOOK OF CONVERGENCES THE CONVERGENCES CONTEST ABOUT WHAT IS THE WHAT ABOUT BOWL OF CHERRIES ABOUT COMEDY BY THE NUMBERS ABOUT JOHN BRANDON'S ARKANSAS ABOUT MICHAEL CHABON'S MAPS AND LEGENDS ABOUT UNDERGROUND AMERICA LETTERS FROM AN EARTH BALL TO, OR CONCERNING, SEAN HANNITY DISPATCHES FROM ADJUNCT FACULTY AT A LARGE STATE UNIVERSITY ADVICE FROM A PERSON WITH A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY DISPATCHES FROM THE NBA ENTERTAINMENT LEAGUE JOHN MOE'S POP-SONG CORRESPONDENCES B.R. COHEN'S ANNALS OF SCIENCE INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE INTERESTING OR UNUSUAL JOBS OPEN LETTERS TO PEOPLE OR ENTITIES WHO ARE UNLIKELY TO RESPOND DISPATCHES FROM A PUBLIC LIBRARIAN MICHAEL IAN BLACK IS A VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY DISPATCHES FROM ROY KESEY, AN AMERICAN GUY MARRIED TO A PERUVIAN DIPLOMAT LIVING IN CHINA STEPHEN ELLIOTT'S POKER REPORT - - - - ADDITIONAL MATERIAL