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Millard Kaufman's final novel has arrived!
Pick up Misadventure now—or, see what
you've missed out on thus far by picking up
both Bowl of Cherries and Misadventure
for 27% off the retail price.

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D I S P A T C H E S   F R O M
A   P U B L I C   L I B R A R I A N

BY SCOTT DOUGLAS

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Dispatch 11 (10/13/04)

An Interview With Josh, Who Is a Library Page, and Whose Name Has Been Changed

What size shoe do you wear?
11˝.

What's the best kind of shelving shoe?
Vans.

What technique do you use to secretly read a book while you're supposed to be shelving?
There's a section in Juvenile Fiction—JF-L to JF-Z that cannot be seen by the senior clerk unless she is wandering around the library. I get in a squatting-type position in this area and position the book truck in front of me in such a way that it sort of looks like I'm sorting books on the bottom of the truck and not reading.

Do you remember those two Russian girls that came in that one summer and all the guys were trying to figure out ways to hit on them when they didn't know English?
Yes.

If there were a biopic made detailing your life as a page, who would you want to play the role of you?
I think Adam Sandler would do me justice, but only if it were a drama—his comedic ability is at times lacking.

What's your favorite area to shelve? Why?
Depends on my mood. I like videos and paperbacks, because they can be shelved quickly, and bringing back trucks quickly makes the clerks think I'm productive. If I'm reading what I shelve, then I like the 900 section; I know more about history from shelving in this section than from all the classes I've taken in college.

What's your least favorite area to shelve? Why?
398s. They're never in order, and it's hard to read the call numbers, because the spine is usually narrow.

What are the most common questions you're asked while shelving?
Mostly where the bathroom is and what time does the library close.

What's the best way to put books in order? Dewey or LOC? Why?
Dewey. I don't know why.

On average, how many book trucks do you shelve in one hour?
If I'm not careful about making sure the books are in order—about 3. If I'm taking my time, then 1.5.

Are you jealous or competitive with other pages?
Only when we're working on the same shift. I try to shelve more than everyone else.

If you could be any book, what one would you be? Why?
Probably one of those paperback romances. Lonely, desperate women are always checking them out—it would make me feel hot and wanted.

What do you think about the library's checkout policy?
It's OK.

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