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Dave Eggers' The Wild Things is available for preorder, in regular hardcover and
limited-edition fur-covered.

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Good Advice From
a Grand Theft Auto
Dating FAQ.

BY DAVID ABRAMS

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[I]f you kill a girl through abuse, she will no longer be your girlfriend.

The main reason to date a girl ... is to get stuff from her.

If you raise your relationship level with a girl to 100% you'll be given a special outfit.

You can date more than one girl at once, and as far as I know, your other girlfriends won't mind if you pick up another.

The easiest way ... is to get into a car, and then quickly drive away before your girlfriend can get in.

[I]f you're going to kiss a girl, give her a gift first.

Don't worry if you go to the same place every time, she doesn't mind.

Fill the fun bar all the way to the top and keep it there for a few seconds to have a successful date.

Every type of date can end with an invitation into the girl's house for "coffee."

If you let her shoot you until you die, your relationship with her will go up by 10%.

Note that although Barbara is a law enforcement official, she won't care if you commit crimes around her.

Dildos are large, floppy, and pink. They are fun to hit people with, and they make a great gift.

The vibrator looks like a large silver bullet. You can stab people with it, or you can give it to one of your girlfriends.

I'm not sure the exact conditions required to get dumped by a girl, but it can definitely happen.

Katie lies all the time.

 

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